The local ban on Gamecock cheerleader photos has led to the development of numerous underground subversive "cells" which have exploited the growing black market for these images in the area. In one instance, the ringleader of a notorious group known as the "After 5 Gang" was ruthlessly hunted down by media police after allegedly posting university-sponsored publicity photos of the Gamecocks cheerleaders and women's varsity swim team on the internet. This individual was last seen speeding away at speeds in excess of 100 mph in a red Corvette with NC tag "UPYOURS."
In an effort to appease local media fuddy-duddies, the Gamecocks cheerleading team sent representatives to the prison base at Git-Mo, Cuba to consult with imprisoned Taliban cleric and renowned Hijab fashion designer Sheik Ghaud al-Amiity, on ideas for an appropriate attire for the girls to wear in Chapel Hill. The new look features a full-body covering and veil in bright yellow, as the traditional Carolina garnet and black was considered to be too sensual of a color scheme.
Earlier today, USC revealed ther new Taliban-inspired cheerleaders outfits amid boos and hisses from irate Gamecock fans in Columbia. Said gamecock cheerleader Sandy Bush of Sumter, "Well, at least we only have to wear these things once; and I can always sneak my friends and a cooler of beer into the game under my robe."
