Sylvester Stallone (61 today) has maintained his superstardom by spicing his failures with a well-placed success, one every fifteen years or so. Make fun of his movies, but don't make fun of the way he talks, or you're a big jerk -- the sneer and slurring are the results of birth complications, namely, a too-eager pair of forceps on his brand-new face. Say, if you're ever in the mood to squirm uncomfortably some evening, check out Sly's 1984 attempt at comedy, co-starring the similarly pectorally talented Dolly Parton, entitled ...

"Lock Up"

"The Specialist"

"Rhinestone"

"Daylight"

"Oscar"