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Dear woman who doesn't love pregnancy, you are not alone

Posted April 25

For some women pregnancy is not so much a time of joy as it is a time of discomfort and pain. And that’s totally OK. (Deseret Photo)

Ever since I could remember I wanted to be a mother.

I had many, many dolls and annoyed little brothers to prove it.

Fast forward just 4 months after getting married, my husband and I found out we were expecting our first baby- a baby boy. To say I was ecstatic would be an understatement- at least that was until the morning sickness hit.

And then there was the utter exhaustion, and sleepless nights, and constipation.

Now, I was honestly very lucky that my pregnancy was free of health scares and that I had a healthy growing baby boy. But at times it seemed I could not deny it; I HATED pregnancy.

I never really allowed myself to say it out loud, for fear of looking ungrateful or, unwomanly, or like I didn’t want my child. None of these things were true, but it’s what I told myself.

So to the woman who does hate her pregnancy, here are a couple of reasons why you are not alone, and it is completely OK. When your precious baby comes it doesn’t mean you are going to love them any less.

Pregnancy is hard, no matter who you are

This is just a fact of life, a fact of Mother Nature.

Your body is literally growing a human being, meaning your body goes through so many hormonal, physical, and emotional changes, all in a matter of 9 months.

That’s a lot to handle, even if you are the most patient, fit, and stable person.

Every pregnancy is different, so every perspective is different

The movie “What to Expect When Your Expecting” touches on this a little bit and they are right; some woman really enjoy pregnancy and think it is wonderful and incredible. Others however, find it extremely taxing and something that is just a necessary part to having their baby.

I have woman within my own family who praised pregnancy and told me I would love it, and because I am me and different than any other woman on the planet, I don’t.

Once again, it is completely ok to love pregnancy, be iffy about it, or just loathe it in general.

Don’t be so hard on yourself

I repeat, YOU ARE GROWING A CHILD.

This automatically means you are pretty amazing, and that you should be super proud of yourself.

Having a baby is no small feat, but because of your desire to be a mother and raise children you are willing to essentially put your body through this torture. Probably over and over again.

Remember the purpose of pregnancy

In all honesty, the reason we get pregnant is not because becoming huge and sick and hormonal is something that is so very fun.

We get pregnant because we want to bring a new life into the world, and want to create a family. We want the joy of loving somebody so much we literally are willing to sacrifice our bodies and sometimes our sanity.

We know that nothing can beat what comes at the end of those horrible nine months.

So sit back, relax if you can, have your husband rub your swollen kankles and realize that not being in love with pregnancy is not the end of the world. You will still be a mother who loves their child, and can remind them constantly how much.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at FamilyShare.com. She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism. Tamsyn has written and edited for Scroll, BYU-Idaho's newspaper.

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