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Dad's View: The Talk

Posted August 6, 2013

I certainly wasn’t expecting that my oldest daughter and I would be the ones having “The Talk.” I'm not ready. And that’s what her mother’s for, right?

This night, I walked in the house from a trip to the grocery store. Now nine, my daughter greeted me and asked that I latch the chain on the door. Anxiety and worry are family characteristics, from parents, to grandparents, to myself. Her request instantly triggered my question…“Why?”

“Just do it, Dad,” she said.

“Why?” I asked again.

“Just because. Lock it,” she insisted.

I assured her that I would latch the chain and that it was time for her to get ready for bed.

My wife and I take turns taking our girls to bed. Tonight was my night to make sure my nine-year-old made it to bed on time. Included in that duty usually means a quick “debriefing” of my daughter’s day. But tonight, our discussion led from her room to the front door.

In her room, lying in her bed, my daughter reluctantly shared her concern, but held back. After digging and digging, I finally figured out that she was worried about a break-in. Rather than dismiss her worry, I surprised myself and took her down a different path.

“Do you know how to pray?,” I asked her. This was “The Talk” that we had not yet had, nor was I expecting to come up this night.

I referenced the recent Asiana Airlines crash. Smart as a whip, she knew some of details.

“Two people died…teenagers,” she said.

“Yep,” I told her. “I pray every time I fly.”

“Give everything to God,” I shared. “When I’m in a plane, that’s what I do. It feels so good to hand your worry off to God, and then you can relax. Go ahead. Ask God to take your worry about the chain on the door.”

She prayed.

“You can say the Lord’s Prayer if you aren’t sure what to say,” I told her. “Think about what the words mean.”

“Ok. How does it start again?” she asked.

I told her and she prayed it. Within minutes, she was settled. A few minutes later, she was asleep.

I put the chain on the door, and thought more about our talk. I felt pretty lucky to have been able share in this new way for her to find peace every day.

I know what you’re saying. Sure, there’s “THE” talk, about the birds and bees. I never understood all of the hype about that talk. It’s sex for Pete’s sake.

I’m not a pastor, nor man of the cloth. I’m not preaching. I even use yard work, my children and a hectic work week as reasons why I’m not in a pew on Sunday mornings. I do believe in God. To me, “church” doesn’t have to only be in a church. This night, “church” was held in a little girl’s bedroom.

Fear and angst over a door latch opened up a new conversation…and The Talk.

Jay Hardy is the father of two girls in Holly Springs. He's a former sports photographer and reporter for WRAL-TV. He returns to writing monthly for Go Ask Mom today.


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  • MyKidRox Aug 7, 2013

    It's wonderful to read such a touching story. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. I get 'the look' from family, co-workers, friends, etc., when asked "Ya'll get to church on Sunday?" I warmed a pew in a small Methodist church every Sunday from the time I was an infant until I was in college. But my views changed a little as I became older. I now have a husband and a son. We pray at every meal and before bed, we have had our son enrolled in church preschools and he currently attends an Episcopal primary school. We live by the word of God each day. But when I get 'the look' from those that darken the church door everytime it's opened, I feel as if I am failing somewhere. Your short blog has made me realize that being a Christian isn't warming that pew every's walking the walk and talking the talk. Thanks, Jay...

  • justbcauz Aug 7, 2013

    Faith isn't one size fits all and I'm glad you were willing to share this moment with the rest of us.

  • aloflin Aug 7, 2013

    Agree with the other comments! So nice to read a blog like this. Great job expressing your faith and being PROUD of it!

  • twsw Aug 7, 2013

    Amen Brother! Thanks for being a Dad that understands his role as the spiritual head of his family. Keep up the good work and you'll find greater energy to follow through with keeping your family in fellowship with other believers!

  • Love my boys Aug 6, 2013

    It's very refreshing to see someone sharing their faith in such a public forum! Kudos to you Dad!

  • mdwrfw Aug 6, 2013

    What a wonderful talk! My daughter was fearful during storms and we would always pray for God's protection, she does this with her own daughter now. As parents, we need to guide our children to apply their faith to everyday fears and concerns. Good Job Jay!!!