Aging Well

Calls from the Alzheimer's Hotline: An Interview with Dee Dee Harris

The most common reason people call the Alzheimer's NC Hotline is that they desperately need a break.

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Caregiver Reading Journal
By
Liisa Ogburn

“I need a break,” the woman said when Dee Dee Harris picked up the phone. The woman was calling from a rural county in eastern North Carolina.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Harris, who has been answering the Alzheimer's NC Hotline for 18 years, said.

It was one of the 600+ calls per year that Alzheimer's North Carolina receives from across the state. Additionally, Harris and her team run support groups, lead an annual walk for Alzheimer's, and organize and staff conferences. Harris has been working with the elderly for 28 years.

“For me, I can’t change the disease,” said Harris in a phone interview, “but I can walk beside people. I can hold their hand and support them as well as I can … that’s what makes me get up everyday.”

I had heard about Harris from half a dozen colleagues working in eldercare before I met her in person at the Alzheimer's NC office at 9131 Anson Way in Raleigh. She gave me a big hug. People say she does something similar by phone.

The most common reason people call, Harris told me, is that they desperately need a break.

“They want to know about day care, home care and facility care. They want to know if there are any financial resources to help.” Harris paused, then added, “That’s probably the hardest part because there aren’t many.”

Each call can last up to an hour. Then, of course, there are follow-up actions, like sending an information packet or making another call on the person’s behalf.

Many times, Harris confided, there’s no answer. They just need to express what they’re feeling. Sometimes the caregivers already know what they need to do, and they just want us to validate what they’re about to do.

“At the end of these conversations, I often feel like I haven’t done anything. But then they say, ‘You listened. You cared.’”

The second most common reason people call is they’re at the very beginning of the disease. They have just gotten a diagnosis and call to ask “Now what?”

Or they need a recommendation for an elder attorney or the steps on how to give mom a bath. These are things Alzheimer's NC can help with.

“Part of the challenge,” said Harris, “is how long dementia can last. Three to eight years is the norm, but it can go on for 10, 12, or even 20 years. One of the things I find myself repeating is the importance of the caregivers taking care of themselves.”

“After doing this for almost 20 years, if I had to give people one piece of advice, I’d say, ‘Too many people try to do this alone.' Even though it’s going to be a difficult road, your journey will be much easier with support and education.”

The 25th annual AlzNC Triangle Walk and 5K/10K Run is Saturday, Sept. 30, at Cary's Koka Booth Amphitheatre. 100 percent of the money raised remains in North Carolina to support families affected by dementia.
Liisa Ogburn is an elder consultant and founder of Aging Advisors NC, as well as a writer whose work has been featured in the New York Times, Psychology Today, Academic Medicine, the News and Observer and other places.

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