Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Amanda Lamb: Paying it forward

Posted October 21, 2012

Philosopher Eric Hoffer once said: "You can never get enough of what you don't really need to make you happy." In truth, what makes us the happiest is giving to others, but for some reason it takes a long time for us to internalize and really believe this simple truth. Plus, even when we know it, we still don't always practice it.

Today, my younger daughter's church youth group practiced it. They dressed up in Halloween costumes and went "reverse trick-or-treating" at a nursing home. Instead of getting candy, they gave candy to the residents. But even more than that, they gave their time and their love, bringing wide smiles to the faces of the residents as they introduced themselves and talked about their costumes. It was a brief interlude involving simple acts of kindness, but it was easy to see from the reactions of the residents that it meant so much to them.

I couldn't help but making comparisons with my mother when she was dying, thinking about how much she enjoyed it when my children and their friends came to her bedside for a visit. Instead of wanting solitude and quiet, she wanted joy and energy around her. She fed off it, and it gave her strength. Reverse trick-or-treating

Children naturally gravitate towards helping others. It is part of their makeup. But it's up to us to facilitate situations where they can do this on a regular basis. And at the same time these opportunities also give us adults a chance to pay it forward as well.

"Happy Halloween," the kids said all together as they left one woman's room.

"Please come back again," she said with a wave from her wheelchair.

"We will," one of the parent volunteers said enthusiastically.

And you know what, we will...

Amanda Lamb is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including three on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all
  • americaneel Oct 22, 2012

    johnnyplusthree...Don't forget to take your chill pills tonight. You are a psychologist or just the renowned defender of the profession?

  • pirategirl342 Oct 22, 2012

    Actually, it depends on what psychologist you follow/believe in. Some believe children are born innately good, some believe the opposite. The most widely accepted idea is that children are born with a blank slate to be shaped and formed.

    BUT, that's not Amanda's point here! THANK YOU for focusing on something positive, giving, and just plain kind!

  • lec02572 Oct 22, 2012

    Good for you and your daughters. Teaching them valuable life skills, plus you can see how much that meant to those people at the nursing home. Those children were probably the happiest thing that has happend for them in a long time. Bless those who share their time, love and energy with others. Wish others would do the same.

  • A Libertarian Oct 22, 2012

    "Children naturally gravitate towards helping others" WRONG! - This is taught not natuarally. What PSY can you reference to this fact?? If not, please print a correction and apology to all the psychologists in the country that has a different opinion.