Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Amanda Lamb: Letters from home

Posted July 21, 2013

It’s official: The dog days of summer have arrived complete with sticky mornings, blazing hot days and thick humid evenings where the air is so heavy it’s sometimes hard to breathe.

This past Friday, I spent one of those dog days taking my oldest daughter and her two friends to summer camp at the coast — a rite of passage for young teenagers ready to escape their summer boredom.

My daughter has never been one of those children who is immediately excited about going to summer camp, who counts down the days and looks forward to seeing old friends, but she agrees to go as long as she can bunk with people she knows.

This summer, I think she is actually a little more enthusiastic than usual as her dog days have now turned into groundhog days filled with babysitting her little sister and completing 500-piece puzzles. The camp she attends is old-fashioned-swimming, arts and crafts, and mediocre food. But I know she will come home with great memories, not to mention a suitcase full of damp clothes.

Last year, I committed the biggest faux pas in the parenting/camper handbook — no letters from home. In my defense, my mother was living at my house with terminal cancer at the time, but to be honest, I didn’t even think about sending her a letter.

For one thing, we live in such a world of immediacy where texting and emailing have become the norm for communication, that I’ve almost forgotten the art of letter writing.

Secondly, she is only there for a week. How many letters could I actually get to her in that amount of time unless I mailed them the day she left? Amanda Lamb's daughter at camp
 

But then it occurred to me that letters from home are less about content and relevance than they are about the connection our children need with us as they take baby steps into the world. Separation from parents begins with playdates, sleepovers, class trips, camp, and then ultimately becomes complete for many families with college.

While our children will always come home again, once they leave the nest at 18, they are beginning their independent lives away from our constant watchful eyes.

So, this year, I vowed to make sure my daughter gets a letter, if not every single day, almost every day. I’m sure I won’t have much to say, but that’s OK.

I want her to know that she is missed, that she is loved, and that she always has a family to come home to, now and forever.

Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including three on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.

4 Comments

Please with your WRAL.com account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all
  • hsiflee Jul 22, 2013

    I have been crying all afternoon after reading this article.

  • softballmom Jul 22, 2013

    It doesn't have to be a full fledge letter. Send a postcard everyday. As long as she gets something and her name gets called at mail call, she will be happy. I remember those days.:-)

  • moppie Jul 22, 2013

    An idea I started for my kids this year (10 & 12)was writing in a journal for each of them. The days they absolutely frustrate me and I don't know what to do, the times they amaze me and even some day-to-day things. I always write how much I love them and how proud I am to be their Mommy. I'm not sure when I'll give it to them, probably when they are grown and have kids of their own. But maybe it will pass on some love and encouragment when they have their own little challenges :)

  • jabbo22 Jul 22, 2013

    My daughters are away at college during the school year. Although we text daily and talk often, I still send them cards & letters--the old fashioned way. These they save. But don't beat yourself up about last year, your daughter will truly understand. Write away..... :)