Amanda Lamb: Don't do what we did - stand up

As I begin to speak to more women about what is happening in our country in regards to the reporting of sexual harassment, a common theme has developed. If you are over 40, you know what I’m talking about. We have ignored it for so many years. We were taught it was the cost of doing business.

“It was a different time,” we say to ourselves as we deny the facts. But the facts are that almost every woman I know in a professional capacity has experienced sexual harassment at some level. In the 90s, we were told sexual harassment was a quid pro quo, meaning somebody asked you for sexual favors in order for you to keep your job or advance in your profession. It was so well-defined that none of us ever thought we were victims.

or lingering touch.

We didn’t want to rock the boat. We didn’t want to offend anyone. We imagined that we had somehow invited it. Was our skirt too short, our shirt cut too low, had we flipped our hair or made a gesture that made it seem like we were flirting? It must be our fault. We invited it. At least, that’s what we told ourselves.

Literally ALL the women that I have talked to have stories. And, for the most part, our stories will remain locked in the vault of silence and privacy. There are so many reasons for this, it would be impossible to list them all here. But the important thing is that we teach the next generation of women what is OK and what is not OK.

Especially, if you’re raising girls, as I am, it’s important to have conversations with them about what is appropriate and what is not. It sounds so simple, but if we want our daughters to be respected by others, they need to know where the boundaries are and they need to learn to stand up for themselves in situations where they feel uncomfortable.

I honestly believe that, most of the time, if you do that, the bad behavior will stop. Because in reality, people who sexually harass others are weak and insecure. They are desperate for attention, but are scared of the ramifications of being caught. They don’t want to deal with strong women who will out them. Sure, there is always a risk if you stand up for yourself. You could lose your job or lose a promotion, but if you lose your integrity, what then?

Let’s do better.

We can’t change the past, but we can help shape a better future for our children. Let’s teach young men and women to respect one another. Let’s be examples to them with our own behavior in how we treat one another. Let’s not vilify people, but stand up for ourselves and let someone know when the line has been crossed.

Let integrity be your guide, it will never fail you.