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Go Ask Mom

Amanda Lamb: 21st century dads

Posted June 9, 2013

When I write blogs for WRAL, I try to be as diplomatic as possible because I am mindful that this is not just my audience, but their audience as well.

What I have learned is that you can’t talk about certain things without ruffling feathers: politics, religion, and apparently, parenting.

Last week, I wrote what I thought was a funny, cute, self-deprecating blog about how I am a failure as a dance mom and have had to rely on much wiser and more experienced dance moms to guide me in this journey. Somehow, many of the comments turned into “Why isn’t your husband helping? Is he a slacker?”

Wow, didn’t see that one coming. So, I decided to tell you in the spirit of Father’s Day what my husband “is doing.”

Take dance, for example. Fathers are not allowed in the dressing room, which I am sure is challenging for single fathers who have daughters in dance. Still, my husband sat in the audience for hours on Memorial Day while I worked at WRAL. He attended the show Thursday night, and brought a pizza for us Friday night. Saturday, while I was at dance, he shuffled my old daughter and her friends to a party.

On a regular basis, he makes my daughters dinner because I tend to get home close to 7 p.m. due to the timing of the 6 p.m. news.

He often picks them up or takes them to a variety of activities including dance, swimming, chorus and birthday parties or sleepovers. He is also a six-year veteran of Y Princess with both girls, and is on deck for all overnight field trips at school that involve camping, or anything closely approaching camping.

When he is not working, or taking care of the girls, you can usually find him in the yard toiling until close to dark.

Parenting is a collaborative effort. There’s no way I could work ten hours a day, write books and raise two little girls all by myself. Sure, fathers don’t always do things the way mothers do them, but that’s OK.

Bottom line, I can be a lot of things to my daughters, but one thing I can’t be is a father …

Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including three on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.

15 Comments

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  • kellypratz Jun 11, 9:35 a.m.

    alot of Dad's don't get the reconition they deserve. Here is to all the DAD's out there "Happy Father's Day" :)

  • kcastleberry Jun 10, 11:37 p.m.

    Bullying doesn't stop with children. It is alive and well in the lives of adults too. Just ignore them!

  • 123dnih Jun 10, 9:11 p.m.

    jjrn...Don't forget she gets paid to do this...Big difference whether you like it or not...

  • 123dnih Jun 10, 9:07 p.m.

    How sweet...All of the moms have united in defense...My heart is breaking.

  • imacrusing Jun 10, 7:07 p.m.

    Love Love this one....Fathers are the best...My Mom died when I was 9 and my Dad became both parents to me....He passed in 1990 and I still miss him every single day....

  • snowl Jun 10, 6:38 p.m.

    Give credit where credit is do. If a spouse is helping Amanda with the 2 children, she should make reference to this- once in a while- in her blog. If you read it regularly it CAN be assumed that she is handling way too much on her own.

  • bgrmom Jun 10, 4:24 p.m.

    Obviously, her story was just sharing of a common experience that we have all been through as parents. It could be dance, cub scouts, whatever. We, as parents, all come together to make things work out for each child. It takes a village and we cannot do it alone. I do not think she was complaining at all. For those of you who thought otherwise, give me a break. Find something better to do with your time than to criticize this blog. Moms and dads share responsibilities with each other, and sometimes we rely on fellow moms and dads to help us out, too. We ALL do it because we LOVE doing it for our children!

  • kcastleberry Jun 10, 3:16 p.m.

    I meant ever not every! Darn autocorrect!

  • kcastleberry Jun 10, 3:14 p.m.

    I have NEVER seen Amanda post anything that sounded like she thought her children were anything, but a blessing! Some people are very 'glass is half empty/judgemental' type of people. You can't do anything about such people so there's no need to even try. I doubt seriously that others do exactly what you do. Most of us lead totally different lives from each other, but still manage to encourage and respect each other. Don't every let what other people say bother you. You are doing a great service for others. If they are bothering you, they are leaving someone else alone! Keep up the great work! I, for one, enjoy reading your blog! Anyone that says raising kids isn't work is seriously delusional. It is work, but work that I LOVE and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I cherish my children and they come first in everything. Blessings to your family!

  • A Libertarian Jun 10, 2:38 p.m.

    Amanda, one more thing while I am at it. I get really tired of people on this blog including yourself that acts like raising kids is a chore. IT IS NOT. I love raising my kids. I do not see where the problem is. I only have three, but would see no issue with 5-6 kids. Please to not post as if kids are a problem, they are a blessing.

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