ADHD-Inattentive diagnosis leads mom to launch successful website

More than a decade ago, the hot topic at Kayla Fay's home was ADHD. Three of her four sons had been diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive, a disorder that makes it hard for kids to pay attention.

Fay, who writes under a pen name to protect the identity of her sons, now grown, started a website. Her goal, she tells me, has been to give a "humorous and informative look at life with ADHD-Inattentive."

"It offers very practical, down to earth tips and advice on ways to help keep our kids focused, organized, encouraged and successful," she wrote me in an email. "We don't take a stance on meds, making it clear that every child, every situation is different. My coauthor, Brock, and I aren't ADHD specialists. We're just moms in the trenches, and we identify with the triumphs and frustrations of other ADHD-I parents."

I chatted with Fay by email a few months ago for business reasons. You see, the original name of her website was Go Ask Mom and we needed to work out some things after WRAL took over the name. That's when that I learned Fay lives in Alamance County.

Since launching the website, Fay and her coauthor have created three products to help families dealing with ADHD-I. They include "Focus Pocus - 100 Ways to Help Your Child Pay Attention."

"It's a list of very practical, doable stuff that parents and teachers can put into practice right away," Fay tells me. "The guide is NOT just for ADHD kids - because every child (especially if the child is a boy!) has trouble focusing from time to time."

One of the most popular hints, Fay says, is this: "Put a strip of Velcro under a child's desk for the child to use as a fidget. It's amazing how many teachers have thanked me for this hint, especially since it was suggested to me by a teacher."

Here's my Q & A with Fay:

Frankly, I thought it was laziness, and we sort of muddled (and nagged) through grade school with our first, but our second son's fourth grade teacher suggested that we explore ADHD. I'd never heard of ADHD Inattentive - only the hyperactive kind, so I secretly rolled my eyes at her. Still, his grades were sliding, and the teacher started doing little things to help him pay attention.

Her efforts - and the resulting improvement - convinced us to have a formal evaluation done. That's when the first son was diagnosed. From there, the behavior of the other boys suddenly made sense.

There was almost no information on ADHD–Inattentive. There were a lot of resources about ADHD in general, but they just didn't seem practical for us. It would say, "Teach your child to remember to..." The problem was *how* was I to teach them? As soon as I started the website, parents began contacting me and signing up for the newsletter. There was definitely a need there. I began chronicling our experiences and describing what worked for us.

Seriously, the biggest tip is that they should work with the teacher. Become a team working for - and sometimes against! - your child. Communicate regularly, making sure you're on the same page with academics, strategy, and discipline. It won't happen every year - some teachers aren't as willing to work with you. In my experience, however, more often than not, you're going to find that a teacher is thrilled to have you helping a student pay attention. Your child will feel safe, empowered, and confident when she knows that the people most involved in her life are working together for her success!

But at the end of the day, with your support, your instruction, and most of all with your love, they really do grow up and succeed.