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9 most common couple arguments and how to resolve them

Posted March 6

From funny to serious, these arguments are bound to happen in your marriage. (Deseret Photo)

Every couple argues. Sometimes, it's about big things and sometimes it's about little things. At some point in your relationship, you and your love will argue about these nine things:

Free time

Between work, kids and life in general, free time is precious. When one person feels like the other is spending too much of their free time on the computer or with friends, an argument is bound to happen. Questions like “Why don’t you ever want to spend time with me?” or “Why can’t you just let me have me time?” are bound to be asked.

When this fight starts, try to avoid using words like "you", "I" or "me". Instead use "we", "us" and "our". This puts the focus on the relationship and stops you from pointing fingers at who did what.

The great toilet paper debate

If you both put the toilet paper roll on the same way, congratulations. Everyone else fights over it (or under it). Whether it’s over or under at your house, compromise is the key.

Relationships with in-laws

Sometimes the in-laws are just a touch too involved: They want you over for every holiday no matter what. Between you and your spouse, you'll need to agree to (occasionally) disagree when it comes to traditions and your in-laws. However, the best way to prevent major arguments is to set clear boundaries together that you both agree upon. Decide early on how you are going to split up holidays and how much of a role the in-laws will have in your relationship. If you still haven’t made that decision, it’s not too late! Set up a time to talk it over with your spouse to avoid future conflicts.

Picking dinner

Most people cringe when they ask “What do you want for dinner?” and get the reply “Anything is fine, you pick.” We all know that “anything” is not fine. Clearly, you must make the right decision even though "anything is fine". Take a deep breath and take turns picking dinner. If you still can't decide, go to a regular favorite, or break out the milk and cereal.

Household chores

Splitting household chores can be difficult, because one person will feel like they are doing everything. Or one of you is frustrated because your partner doesn't clean the bathtub they way you would have cleaned it.

Instead of arguing, create a flexible chore chart and help out a little more when needed. And if you have to have the bathtub cleaned a certain way, don't expect your spouse to do it; step in and do it yourself instead of arguing.

Did you eat my…

Can’t find that delicious morsel you saved for later? Start blaming the food thief sitting at your kitchen table eating your precious food. A big argument happens next and feelings get hurt...and you still don't have any pie.

This is easy to solve. Don’t eat what isn’t yours, or at least ask first. While you may think all food in the fridge is free game, your partner may be waiting to finish off something at the end of a tough day. Save it for them and they’ll probably share.

Intimacy needs

Talking about your intimacy needs can be awkward and uncomfortable even with your spouse... but leaving them bottled up will only add fuel to the fire when an argument does happen. Since you and your love have different needs, you’ll only know each other’s desires if you discuss it. Respectfully share your expectations about sex and personal needs. Listen to each other to avoid frustrations that may occur over time.

Toothpaste squeezing

Do you just squeeze the middle or start from the bottom? Don’t let this start an argument — a squeeze is just a squeeze at the end of the day. If the squeezing method of your toothpaste is that important to you, talk about it and be patient with your spouse...or just keep separate tubes.

Money

We need to spend money to live. Unfortunately, deciding how much is spent can be very contentious. Food, shelter, clothing, emergencies, insurance and education should all be first on the budget. Take time to prioritize where your money will go. Set a budget and keep it.

Arguments are normal and healthy for relationships. You will argue about big things and little things, but strive to never make the argument personal.

Stacie Simpson is a journalism student. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.

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