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8 things you should NEVER do until you talk to your spouse first

Posted June 20

Everyone likes to be independent and do their own thing every once in a while, even as a married person. It’s totally fine if you want to take yourself out to lunch or buy yourself a shirt or two, but there are certain things that need to be discussed with your spouse first before any decisions are made.

1. Buy something over $100

Even if you want to surprise your spouse with the brand new iPhone that just came out, it’s best to give them a heads up before you spend that kind of money. Set a limit and agree to talk before you spend beyond that limit. This will help you make better financial decisions and your spouse won’t feel like you’re wasting any hard-earned money.

2. Plan an elaborate vacation

If you want to surprise your sweetheart with a little weekend getaway, it’ll probably be much appreciated if it’s something you can afford. Don’t plan a huge, expensive trip without letting them know first — you never know if your partner is planning on spending that money somewhere else (like buying new bikes for the kids).

3. Quit your job

Career decisions are huge, so don’t make them without the help of your spouse. Talk it through and think about all the pros and cons, then make a decision together.

4. Invite anyone to stay/live with you

Whether you know someone who needs somewhere to crash for a few days or someone who needs a place to permanently live, don’t offer your home without consulting your spouse first.

While it’s a nice gesture to offer your living space, it’s important to make sure you can both handle it emotionally and financially.

5. Buy a house

Buying a house without talking about it with your sweetheart first seems absolutely absurd, but it happens. You might think it would be a fun surprise, but your spouse wants (and needs) to be involved in that big life decision.

6. Paint anything the two of you share

The biggest fight my husband and I have ever had was when we were engaged. He was acting a little weird all day and when I asked what he was doing (we were texting), he said it was a “surprise.” Red flags went off in my head telling me he was probably doing something I wouldn’t love.

Turns out, he was painting “cool” stripes on his new truck. I was furious. Luckily it was temporary paint, so it could have been a lot worse. We laugh about it now, but it’s important not to paint or change the expensive things you own together.

7. Get a pet

Pets are an enormous responsibility, and even though your spouse might be happy when you bring your adorable new puppy home, that puppy won’t be as cute when you realize how expensive it is and how much work it is to take care of it. It’ll be more fun to pick out a pet you both want, love and are ready for.

8. Make big plans

Don’t make weekend-long plans without consulting your spouse first. They might have things going on or you might have important things to do together, so it’s best to plan big things together.

This is especially important during the holiday season. Things can get tricky when you’re trying to divide time between in-laws, so make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to family functions.

Of course it’s important to have independence and do things for yourself, but your marriage will be so much better if you take your sweetheart’s opinion into consideration when you’re making big decisions.

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