7 ways to keep your relationship alive after you become parents
Posted July 10
We all know everything changes after having a baby. Your body, your sleep schedule and your relationship. You and your love are parents now! And as exciting as it is to have a little baby you created together, things are going to change- and you won’t always feel like it’s for the better.
When you have a baby, you have new priorities. You two are no longer just a couple; you’re a family. It’s easy to put your relationship with your husband on the back burner.
While it’s important to give your little angel the best love and care possible, it’s also important to take care of the relationship you have with your husband.
Here are seven ways to keep that spark alive after you two become parents:
1. Go on dates
This can be especially difficult when your baby is still young. You’re not going to want to leave your baby, but trust them with some nearby family or a well-groomed babysitter. Take time to enjoy your husband’s company.
2. Talk about things other than the kids
Your title as “Mommy” has completely taken over. That’s wonderful, but your husband needs you to be more than that- and you need your husband to be more than “Daddy.” Keep your relationship alive by continuing to get to know each other, separate from parenthood.
Those precious 18 years are going to fly by, and soon enough, you and your husband are going to have the house to yourselves again. With your kids moved out and establishing their own, separate lives, you two are going to need to know how to just be a couple again. If you establish the habit of being a couple and not just parents, your relationship will be stronger as the years go on.
3. Plan a future together
It’s hard to think about anything but the present when you’re parents. You’re just focusing on feeding them, changing their diapers, trying to get them to stop crying and scrolling through Instagram, comparing yourself to all the other seemingly perfect moms out there. It’s easy to get caught up in all of that.
But when you’re with your husband, talk about that summer beach house you two will have one day. Discuss which coast you two would most like to go scuba diving off of. Fantasize about a future- you can include your kids, of course, but your conversations shouldn’t just be about whose turn it is to wake up in the middle of the night to change a dirty diaper.
4. Flirt with each other
Send each other sweet, flirty texts throughout the day. Be a little playful while you cook dinner together. Sometimes you might have to consciously go out of your way to make it happen, but your honey will appreciate it and return the favor. It will make things fun and less tense while you two figure out this whole parenthood thing together.
5. Kiss each other hello and goodbye
Mornings can get crazy and pass by in a flurry. Take time to slow down and give each other a quick kiss before someone walks out the door, and kiss them again when they come back home. Let them know that you love them and miss them when they’re gone.
Focusing on your brand-new baby can wear you out, so it’s easy to spend less time being physical and intimate with your love. Taking time to kiss helps keep some of that physicality alive, even as things slow down between the two of you.
6. Never go to sleep angry
Things can become tense with a new member of the family in the home. You two are both sleeping less and have a lot less time to focus on each other, let alone yourself. Sometimes you two are going to snap at each other and say something you don’t mean.
Keep your communication open and honest and never hold grudges. Talk things through so you can strengthen your relationship before it grows weak.
7. Share the load
Put your child(ren) to bed and make chore time an activity. Play music and spend time together making the meals for tomorrow and do the laundry. When you do this, it makes chore time an enjoyable time you and your honey get to share together, and there’s no resentment over who does more or less at home.
The most important thing after you have a baby is to continue to talk with each other. If you’re struggling with something, share it with your husband. You two are both facing these new changes and challenges in life, but it’s much easier and more enjoyable if you two can work through it all together.