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7 ways to be the perfect spouse without changing who you are (or your spouse)

Posted August 1

You messed up again. You might have said the wrong thing, burned dinner and missed paying a few bills. You make mistakes every single day and sometimes, the weight of these mistakes pile up until you feel like you just can’t handle it. It is easy to become blind and feel like you just can’t compete with the magnificent lives you see on Instagram and Facebook.

Take heart. We’ve all been there. Here are seven ways you are becoming that perfect spouse, despite your mistakes and weaknesses.

1. You are confident

Someone once said, “Don’t let insecure thoughts ruin something amazing.”

Sometimes we let our own insecurities stand in the way of our confidence. We begin to believe negative thoughts and we don’t see who we really are. Our husbands don’t want us to be down on ourselves. They can see our potential and all the wonderful things we have to offer. Find that inner confidence and you will see your potential as well.

2. You continually try to improve yourself

A perfect spouse recognizes her flaws and weaknesses and uses that knowledge to better herself. Whether you try to improve your health, spirituality, education or talents, you diligently seek ways to become a little better every single day.

3. You are supportive of your spouse

Just like you have dreams and passions, so does your spouse. Help your partner achieve their goals and ambitions, even if it means some sacrifice. Just make sure that both of you are sacrificing. Don’t give up all your goals and passions for your spouse. You deserve success, too.

4. You are independent but regularly let him know he is needed

Don’t rely on your spouse to do every task and project around your home. Your marriage is a partnership and will be strengthened if you both pitch in. Just remember, when your spouse helps or completes tasks, make sure to thank him.

5. You think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, you can say things you instantly regret. Some words cut deep and can be hard to bounce back from. Even in your angriest moments, think before you say anything. You may damage your relationship with just one heated discussion or one angry phrase.

6. You are real

Seriously, perfectionism is impossible. Don’t try to change yourself to be the ideal spouse. Show your quirks, your talents, even your stretch marks because that is what makes you who you are. That is the reason your spouse fell in love with you, not because you make fewer mistakes than another woman.

7. You give your best — ALL THE TIME

The most important thing you can do for your marriage is to give 100 percent of your best, every day. Don’t give your husband your leftover energy after long work days, tending to the kids and tackling mounds of laundry. Give it all you have plus a little more.

You don’t have to change your appearance, your personality or your job to be the perfect spouse. You already are. Your spouse fell in love with you because of your character traits, the way you handle your mistakes, the way you snort when you laugh and the way you confidently go through life. You are priceless and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Courtnie is graduate from Utah State University with a degree in journalism. She lives in Idaho with her husband, energetic toddler and baby on the way.

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