7 ugly things you say that are killing your relationship
Posted June 1
FACT: Words can be deadly. They can kill relationships and demolish someone's self-worth. Gone are the days when sticks and stones were the only things that could cause horrid heartache and pain. Now we fling fiery accusations and hurl demeaning comments at each other.
Here are some primary weapons of choice amongst couples:
1. I'm sorry
This might seem like a good phrase to frequently say to your significant other, but it can be straight poison. Of course, there are times when apologies need to be made and responsibility taken for past mistakes. But think about it. If you have to say sorry all of the time then you're constantly making the same mistake and therein lies the true relationship killer.
2. I don't want to talk about it
What is the only thing worse than bad communication? No communication. Refusing to talk about something with your loved one is like having a flat tire and not fixing it. You might be able to drive for a little bit longer, but things will only become dangerous as you go. Pretty soon refusing to "fix that flat" in your relationship will only lead to a much more serious problem.
3. If you could just...
Stop right there. Remember that you chose to be with this person because of the way they are. Likewise, they're with you because of who you are. Sure, everyone can always be better and improve. But be careful of comments like "If you could just dress nicer “or” If you could just lose a little weight." Seriously, don't do it. It will only tear down the person you should be building up.
4. Leave me alone
If this was your true desire then you wouldn't be in a relationship. The real value of two people coming together is so neither has to be alone. Heartbreak can and should be overcome together, as a team. In many cases, when someone asks to be left alone they are really hoping for the exact opposite—they're just too angry or prideful to admit it.
5. I don't care
This is a seemingly innocent relationship killer that disguises itself as a common phrase. Men typically turn to this phrase more often, but it can plague women as well. Show interest in your spouse's personal life and care about those things that affect the both of you. Apathy or indifference won't fly when it comes to making joint decisions.
6. I don't have time
What you're really saying when you use this verbal dagger is, "I refuse to make time for you" or "You don't mean enough to me." "I don't have time" is just a softened blow that doesn't sound as bad. Time is a central component of all successful relationships. Take that away and feelings soon become lifeless.
7. I wish we could be more like them
Envy is a natural human emotion but it will only result in sadness if not controlled. Be happy with who you are and whom you are with. Stop comparing yourself to others because it doesn't matter. Chances are the couples whom you’ve placed on a pedestal are wishing they could be just like you and yours.
Come clean and resolve to put down your weapons of war. You will be surprised at what a difference this makes.
Alex recently graduated with a degree in public relations. He loves to write and is now working as an intern helping produce content for FamilyShare.com.