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7 things your husband secretly wishes you would change about yourself (written by a man)

Posted July 27

Ladies, pay attention. What you're about to read is important. Hopefully these seven things are not secret. (But sometimes it can be hard for men to put all this mushy stuff into words).

In some form or another, your husband has probably told you these things, but for the sake of clarity here they are:

1. Stop worrying about your body

Stomach, eyebrows, chest size, stretch marks, cellulite, hairline, thigh gap, lips ... the list goes on and on. If you go down that road there will always be something physical to be self-conscious about. So, don't go down that road.

Obviously, when it comes to physical attractiveness, physical fitness and appearance helps—that can't be denied— but remember that what your husband loves about you isn't the number on the scale.

It's your smile. It's the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. It's that cute face you make when you're trying not to laugh.

Maybe you don't have the body you once did. Well, your husband probably doesn't either. Remember that he married you — it means he's in it for the long haul and loves you more than just your body.

If there are things about your body that you want to change, go for it. But know that your husband is going to love you either way.

2. Accept that he does love you, and will love you, forever

Here's the deal, ladies. You're married. You love him, right? More than anything? Then why do you doubt the intensity of his love for you? Out of all the women in the world, he chose you.

If you want your marriage to last, be all in. Stop focusing on insecurities and stop asking yourself how he could possibly love a woman like you. Of course he loves a woman like you. You're his everything.

3. Stop doubting yourself

Confidence is attractive, and your husband wants to see more of it.

Your husband doesn't just want to see you follow your dreams, he wants to see you reach them, grab them, take them home and put them on your mantelpiece.

It's his job to support you (and it's your job to support him). If you doubt yourself, he's going to feel like he's not being supportive enough. So, if you can't muster up the self-esteem to do it for yourself, be confident for him.

4. Stop comparing yourself to other women

Comparing yourself always ends with "I'm not good enough". Your mister wants this vicious cycle to stop because he knows you are more than good enough.

Now, there is a difference between comparing yourself to other women and emulating a role model. Role models are great. By all means, find one and improve yourself. But don't let your perceptions of other women make you despise yourself or others.

5. Stop trying to please everyone

Pleasing everyone is something that you just can't do. The art of saying "no" is a beautiful thing. We men pride ourselves in our ability to say "no", and we want you to learn it too.

You've got your friends, his friends, your family, his family, your neighbors, your boss, your kids, and about a dozen other relationships to maintain. But trying to please everyone ends in stress, tears and feelings of failure.

It hurts your husband to see you break down like this. You want to please these people because you love them, but it's causing more harm than good.

Those that love you unconditionally are the people who most deserve your attention, but they're also the people who simply understand that you're human and you've got a life to live.

6. Stop sweating the small stuff

It's not always necessary to have an overloaded to-do list. It's OK to just sit back and smell the roses from time to time. You husband wants you to remember what matters most.

So, what matters most in your life? We promise it's not the color you paint the guest bedroom or anything having to do with essential oils. It's just not.

7. Stop apologizing when you cry

If you've had a rough day, the last thing you need to do is apologize to your husband for not being in the best mood. It happens. You're allowed to be sad sometimes.

Of course, we'd rather have you be happy, but being sad is not wrong. You're going to have those days, and he's going to have those days, so don't feel bad for feeling bad. That's silly.

Your husband wants you to be happy. He wants you to change for the better so you can be happier — in the process, you'll get closer as a couple and share a happier life together.

David Snell is a writer for the FamilyShare team, specializing in humor writing. He's trilingual (English, Spanish and Movie Quotes), passionate about all things communication and is always up for learning new skills.

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