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7 things all failing marriages have in common

Posted July 27

Is your marriage experiencing any of these 7 things? (Deseret Photo)

A strong and happy marriage is a hard thing to define. Some people would argue all strong marriages contain an undying feeling of love- to others, it’s an action of respecting and serving them regardless of what they feel.

Although defining a strong marriage may seem like a task too hard to tackle, a failing marriage has some clear and stark manifestations that speak too loudly to ignore.

1. Lack of boundaries

Lack of concrete and absolute boundaries in a marriage is destructive. Wavering expectations can lead a partner to engage in intimate conversations and actions with someone other than their spouse. Regardless of whether a physical or emotional affair occurred, lack of boundaries can lead to clouded judgment and failure in a marriage.

2. Selfish eyes and selfish actions

Partners in a marriage need to establish fairness in distribution of work and responsibility in order for the partnership to work for the benefit of both husband and wife. One partner placing their desires and needs constantly over their spouse’s creates a rift between the couple. If too many needs are neglected, over time the lack of consideration will create a toxic and selfish marriage.

3. Criticism

A strong marriage is built and sustained upon adoration, compliments, acceptance, emotional and physical wellness. Disrespectful judgments dissolve strong marriages and fill them with toxic threats, lectures, manipulative comments and brainwashing.

4. Disrespect

A spouse is looking for emotional stability and support from their spouse. Disrespectful communication, angry outbursts and rage breaks the bonds the two of you have built your marriage upon. Not taking what your spouse says seriously is harmful and toxic to your marriage’s success.

5. Lack of emotional investment

Lack of emotional investment is a sign of a failing marriage. The unwillingness to share your joys, sorrows, goals, dreams and struggles with your partner creates a social disconnect. According to a Harvard study, partners that are fully invested in their spouse experience higher levels of euphoria within their marriage. Without the investment marriage is just another contract.

6. Physical interest lost

When an individual’s expectation for adoration and affection are not met, problems begin to emerge. Affectionate phrases and kind gestures are all small and subtle ways you remind your spouse you are invested in your marriage, without these small acts your marriage tends to feel cumbersome. Remember people do not get married to have a roommate.

7. Living separate lives

A failing marriage can be a result of living two separate and fulfilling lives. Relationships that struggle to mesh their social circles, recreational hobbies and leisure activities tend to experience a disconnect.

There is such a thing as being too independent within a marriage. Couples that function and build a life together as a team tend to parent, take care of the household, solve financial problems and stay in touch with distant family more often. Without time together, couples drift apart.

Hannah Rose is a story-telling enthusiast that finds joy in sharing insights and human experience. Connecting the world through written verse is a passion that drives her to pursue her journalistic endeavors.

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