7 signs your husband can totally handle a zombie apocalypse
Posted June 30, 2016
1. He always notices when you’ve had a bad day
A man who is oblivious to changes in his wife's mood will also be oblivious to the differences between humans and zombies. Oblivious men are pretty much the first to go during a zombie apocalypse.
If your husband always notices when you're upset or tired, he would definitely notice if people in your town were turning into zombies!
2. When he’s had a stressful day, he doesn’t lose control
Every zombie emergency has at least one guy who can’t handle the stress. He starts ranting and yelling in his frustration. Everyone in his group tries to calm him, but he just gets louder and more belligerent. This attracts a whole horde of zombies.
Your husband is not that guy! When he's under stress, he finds healthy ways to cope, like going to the gym or relaxing with friends.
3. He fixes the kitchen sink and replaces the spark plugs in your car
A guy doesn’t need to be a genius handyman to get through an epic zombie outbreak, but he does need to know his way around a tool box. He needs to board up the doors at night and change a flat tire on the run.
Your husband can put together a swing set that's missing the instructions at 2 a.m. on Christmas morning, so obviously he could build hundreds of DIY zombie barriers in a jiffy.
4. He loves how strong you are
The family with the wife who's screaming and hiding in the RV while the husband fights the zombies alone is doomed. The family that survives is the one where the husband and wife are fighting together.
Your husband admires your strength and loves having you stand by his side when times get tough. The two of you would be a lean, mean, zombie-fighting team!
5. He’s optimistic during setbacks
It’s easy to be positive during the beginning of an apocalypse, but disappointments start piling up fast. People go to the nearest hospital for help, and all they get are zombies with stethoscopes. The next stop is the National Guard, but it’s overrun with zombies in camouflage.
Some men would give up, but your husband would never stop believing that your family will find a safe place to rebuild.
6. He’s a good judge of character
After a few weeks on the road, smaller groups of survivors always run into a larger group that seems to be doing surprising well. The leader is usually called ‘Governor’ or ‘President’ and appears charming to most, but he is actually a maniacal twisted control freak.
Your husband would see right through that evil leader and avoid the chaos left in their wake. You know it's true because your guy already avoids scammers and get-rich-quick schemes that would disrupt your family's stability.
7. He’s generous
The successful survivor in a zombie apocalypse looks out for his family first but is also generous to other survivors he meets along the way. The kindhearted man always gives half of his very last candy bar to a hungry stranger. Later on, that very same stranger usually saves the generous man and his family from a zombie attack just in the nick of time.
Your husband is a generous person, and that generosity always comes back to him in good ways.
If your husband has these characteristics, you're totally going to survive the next zombie apocalypse. He's pretty awesome at tackling smaller everyday problems, too!
Kathryn S Allen has a bachelor's degree in Family, Consumer, and Human Development. Her blogs include mybestlds.com, myeverydaybest.com, and sundaybesthub.com. You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org