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7 signs he's the wrong guy for you

Posted May 3

Don’t risk your happiness for a relationship that’s tearing you apart every day. If your man does any of these things, express your concerns so you can work together to improve the connection and love between you:

1. You overthink everything you say

It’s one thing to think twice before you speak, but it’s another to constantly overthink what you want to say because you are so afraid of how your partner will respond. You deserve someone who truly listens and considers your perspective, not someone who is looking to belittle your opinions.

2. He wants you to change for him

Changing for a man will only make you miserable. Find someone who accepts your imperfections. As a couple, improve together by telling each other one thing to work on. When you both express what the other can improve, it will seem like an encouraging team effort rather than nagging.

3. You cry more than smile

If he frequently puts you down, he’s not the right man for you. Being treated this way changes everything; you might feel stressed, worthless or wonder if something’s wrong with you. Don’t fall into this trap. Break off the relationships and turn to family and friends for support. Surround yourself with people who want the best for you and know for yourself that you deserve happiness.

4. He treats his family poorly

People say how a man treats his family (especially his mother and sisters) says a lot about how he’ll treat you. In a romantic relationship, a man typically tries to put his best foot forward, so how he treats the women who have been in his life for a while can indicate how he’ll treat you after he’s more comfortable around you.

One of the first things I liked about my husband was how highly he talked about his sister and their close relationship. Find a man who loves his family — it says a lot about who he truly is.

5. You’re afraid to ask him to put away his clothes

If you're in an abusive relationship, you might feel it’s easier to shrug things off rather than bringing up difficult topics. But bottling up your feelings won't help you or your relationship.

Communication is one of the keys to a healthy marriage. If you can’t communicate now, it’s not going to get any better unless something changes. Confide in a trusted family member, friend or therapist if you need help building communication in your relationship.

6. He threatens you with the “D” word

People say things they regret when tensions are high, especially during an argument. But it’s a major red flag if he frequently threatens you with divorce or a break up. Whether someone means it or not, these statements make the other person actually consider divorce, according to marriage counselor Deborah McFadden.

Next time feelings get too intense and your voices start to rise, take some time to calm down before coming back to the discussion. Organize your thoughts and return with a clear and relaxed mindset.

7. You’re always at fault

Couples in healthy relationships talk through their problems and try to understand each other’s perspective. Talk to your partner if you feel he puts all the blame on you. He might not even realize he’s doing it, and hearing it from you can help him understand how you feel and encourage him to improve.

If you can relate with any of these points, talk to your partner. Express your concerns and consider meeting with a counselor if necessary. Do what you believe is best for you and your family’s safety and happiness.

Shaelynn Miller is a journalist who has a passion for photography, video production and writing.

Contact her at smiller@deseretdigital.com.

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