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7 seemingly harmless habits that can DEMOLISH your marriage

Posted July 28

The smallest habits can have the greatest impact. (Deseret Photo)

We all have our little quirks and traits that create our personalities. When it comes to marriage, there are thousands of little factors that affect that relationship: What makes it fail, what makes it work, etc. Most people focus on the big picture to make their relationship the happiest it can be, but sometimes it's the tiny habits that have a devastating effect.

While these seven habits may seem harmless, they can actually destroy your relationship with your spouse:

Negativity

Everyone goes through difficult times. Whether you are single or married, there is no escaping the moments when you need to blow off some steam. Constant negativity is toxic if it starts to override the positives. Negativity is a part of life, but after time, pessimistic comments will sabotage any relationship.

Commit to seeing the good in yourself, your situation, and your spouse to keep negativity at bay.

Addiction

Although pornography and drugs are a massive factor in unhealthy relationships these days, minor addictions are just as damaging to your healthy and happy marriage. Any addiction takes its toll on relationships, especially if that activity takes time away from being with your spouse. Even seemingly harmless social media apps like Instagram can be damaging. There are dozens of accounts where couples admit to scrolling Facebook instead of talking with their spouse after work.

Talk with your spouse to decide what is a priority and what is a favorite pastime in your marriage. Focus on spending time together instead of letting addictions separate you.

Indifference

Sometimes the greatest relationship killer is the fact that you don’t argue with one another. A relationship is based on showing how much you care. Anger, as well as happiness, shows that you are passionate. Believe it or not, both are necessary for a lasting relationship. Beating around the bush or always saying "whatever" are both dangerous habits to fall into.

Be aware of your indifferent tendencies with one another. Don’t be afraid to truly express your emotions.

Distraction

Does your cell phone turn your attention away from your spouse? You may be quick to apologize for your wandering eyes, but saying you’re sorry doesn’t always bury the hatchet when nothing changes.

Give your spouse your full attention when they are speaking to you. Even if you can multitask, it is respectful listen and make eye contact. Give your darling your eyes, ears and mind when they are talking to you.

Pride

It's easy to forget what pride really is. Most people think of pride as having a puffed-up ego. However, have you ever thought of pride as never admitting your mistakes? Refusing to believe you are in the wrong is one of the fastest ways to derail a happy marriage.

Being able to admit you are wrong is one of the greatest strengths you can have. Choose to admit your mistakes. Focus on your spouse’s good qualities and develop the ability to give and accept genuine apologies.

Teasing

Every couple teases one another, and most teasing is cute and flirtatious. Be careful though: critical comments often find their way into teasing. Think about your comment before you say it. Are you teasing out of love? Or are you teasing to make your spouse feel bad?

Use caution when teasing. Joking can begin with harmless, silly comments and end in pain. If you have a problem with your spouse, don’t use teasing to get to the bottom of it. Be straightforward and respectful.

Correcting

Being corrected is irritating to anyone, especially when someone excessively corrects you over minor details of no real significance. Correcting someone often leads to the same result: a lack of confidence. Don’t nitpick every word that comes out of your spouse’s mouth. Constant correcting can make your spouse doubt your confidence in them.

Be positive in your communication with one another. If they make a mistake that will not bring about the apocalypse, avoid correcting them.

Ridding your marriage of these seven seemingly insignificant habits will do wonders for your relationship. Work together to break any habits that are harming your marriage and see how much happier you both will be.

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