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7 secrets that are OK to keep from your spouse

Posted June 3

Before I got married, I always thought my marriage would never work unless I told my husband everything, and he did the same for me. When you’re first dating, it’s hard to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you don’t like something they’re doing, but you gradually start to get more comfortable.

By the time you’re married, hopefully you’re comfortable enough to tell your spouse they could use a haircut or tell them about the embarrassing moment you had at work.

However, there are some things that your spouse just doesn’t need to know. Here are a list of seven secrets that are OK to keep from your spouse:

1. You think they’re getting a little chunky

If your spouse is gaining a little weight, they probably already know and don’t need to hear it from you. Of course you both want to be your best selves for each other, so suggest going on hikes together, getting a gym membership together or learning new recipes to start a healthy lifestyle. You’ll avoid hurting your spouse’s feelings, bond over fitness dates and get healthy. It’s a win-win-win!

2. You can’t stand their friends

Unless you’re seriously concerned that your spouse’s friends are a bad influence on them, are putting them in danger or are affecting your marriage, there’s no reason to tell them their friends are terrible. These people are important to your love, so be supportive when they want to go out. Be nice to their friends, even if you don’t get along with them.

3. Your family doesn’t like them

Your spouse doesn’t need to know if your family doesn’t like them. This will cause tension and relationships will become even more strained than they already are. This can be a problem especially when you’re first married, so just show your family how much you love your spouse and they’ll come around.

4. You planned a fun surprise

If you’re planning a surprise party or vacation, it’s totally OK to keep it a secret as long as it fits in your budget. It’s fun to be surprised, and your love will appreciate the effort you put in to make it special.

5. You thought a stranger was good-looking

You could have the happiest marriage in the world, but chances are, you’ll walk past someone someday and say, “wow, that person had a very nice face.” This is normal, but it doesn’t need to be brought to your spouse’s attention. You should definitely tell them if you’re developing real, emotional feelings for someone else, but anything less is better left unsaid.

6. You had a dream about your ex

These dreams are so real. Everyone has them, but there’s no need for your spouse to know when it happens. Although you didn’t do anything wrong, it might make them feel bad or feel like they aren’t enough for you.

7. Anything that would unnecessarily hurt their feelings

When you’re about to say something to your spouse and you feel like it might hurt their feelings, it’s better not to say it. Of course there are certain things that need to be said, but if it’s not absolutely necessary it’s better to keep it to yourself. It will protect their feelings and protect you from feeling guilty. For example, if you don’t love the dinner your sweetheart cooked for you, just eat it anyway ... unless they also think it was gross. Then you both can order pizza.

While this is a general list of things that are OK to keep from your spouse, it doesn’t mean you have to keep these secrets. Figure out what works best for your marriage and do what you need in order to have the best marriage you can.

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