7 reasons why your husband isn't happy
Posted October 24, 2016
As wives, we care about our husband’s happiness, which is why it can be frustrating when he is unhappy and we can’t understand why. Here are some reasons why your husband isn’t happy.
1. He is not satisfied with his career
Most men feel their career defines them. One of the first questions they are asked when they meet someone new is "what do you do for a living?". If your husband isn't happy with their job, it can affect all aspects of his life. Because changing jobs or even admitting they would like to do something different is scary, you might not realize your husband is unsatisfied with his career.
2. He is not spending enough time with you
Work, school, friends, obligations and life in general take his time away from you and his family. This can make him really unhappy. He feels responsible to provide an income and maintain a lifestyle, but that pressure can pull him away from who he really whats to be with: you!
3. He feels he isn’t making you happy
A lot of husbands feel if you, their wife, aren't happy, that somehow it is their fault. It doesn’t matter if your happiness has nothing to do with him, because he sees your happiness as his responsibility.
If you complain about taking your laundry to the laundry mat, it's interpreted as an inability to provide a washer and dryer in your house. If you mention that your best friend didn’t show up for your lunch date, your husband may be upset that he wasn't available for you to eat lunch with. Seriously, it can be something totally unrelated, but he will feel like he failed you somehow. Your husband takes your happiness very seriously.
4. He isn’t expressing his feeling
Sometimes men have a harder time expressing just how they are feeling. Keeping those emotions bottled up can lead to anxiety, stress and depression. Create an open environment where he will feel safe opening up. If he still does not, try and help him find a way to get his emotions out. Exercising, mediation and getting a massage are all ways he can get some frustrations out.
5. He is stressed
Stress can easily make someone unhappy. And there are a lot of things in this world to cause him stress. Money, work, politics, family, personal issues...these can all lead to days full of stress and worry. Often times, men take on a lot of responsibilities. They may not be as visual as a woman’s like cooking dinner, or taking care of your kid’s physical needs, but they are just as important. Providing an income, managing the finances, paying bills, planning for the future, saving for a rainy day and more; these are all vital responsibilities but do provide extra stress for your husband.
6. He is second guessing his choices
There may be a point in your husband’s life where he may think he made a mistake. Whether it is his career choice or not accomplishing some personal goals, he realizes he isn't where he thought he would be at this point in his life. This can cause a lot of unhappiness and can be dangerous. Unless your husband can start focusing on all the good things that have happened in his life, he may find himself going down a path he can't turn back from. Help him focus on the good and make a plan to achieve some of those goals on his list.
7. He is comparing himself to others
It is very easy to compare in today’s world. With everyone putting their lives on social media, we know things about people we haven't talked to since high school. It's both good and bad. It is always nice to keep in touch, but it can be hard to not compare yourself with their success. We can see what cars they buy, what vacations they take and where they are on the corporate ladder. Some men are good at not comparing themselves, but others struggle. Your husband wants the best for your family and it can be difficult to not feel frustrated when he sees others as more successful than he is.
Some of these issues we can help out with. We can remind ourhusband why he is happy, help him relieve stress and be a listening ear. Still, there are other problems that are harder to overcome. We may wish we could fix all their problems, but in reality, some he needs to fix on his own. Just continue to love and support him through this journey of life.
Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in Anthropology and a masters in Psychology. She lives in Orange County, CA and is a mother of twins. Contact her at Meganshauri@gmail.com