6 ways you are unknowingly sabotaging your relationship with your husband
Posted May 23
Being married takes work. If done right, it can be the greatest thing ever, but the best relationships require some sacrifice.
When a relationship turns sour, it’s easy to ask yourself “Where did I go wrong?” Sometimes people are unintentionally ruining their relationship with bad habits.
Here are six subtle things you might be doing that are sabotaging things between you and your husband:
1. Putting other things ahead of your relationship
This one can easily be missed because there are so many other things that can quietly slip ahead of your relationship. Whether that’s investing too much of yourself into your work or a new hobby, or spending too much time with your best friend or your mom.
Your husband shouldn’t have to feel second-best. If they do, your marriage will quickly slip down the drain.
2. Establishing unrealistic expectations for your partner
If you’re demanding too much from your husband, they’re going to be unhappy being in a relationship with you. Whether you’re expecting him to spend too much money on you or not allowing him to spend any of his time with other friends or family members, you’re really just pushing him further and further away.
3. Not going on dates anymore
No matter how long you two have been together, you need to get out of the house and go on dates. Get to know each other more and make your time together special. There’s nothing wrong with snuggling up on the couch and watching Netflix when neither of you feel like going out, but that can’t be all you ever do to spend time together. Sooner or later, that will feel mundane and you and your husband will start to lose interest in each other.
4. Holding a grudge
It can be hard to forgive someone who has hurt you, but it’s crucial in a marriage to put love before anger. Of course, there’s a difference between something your husband did unintentionally that hurt your feelings and something more serious that hurt you. If you’re holding a grudge against your husband for something trivial, you’re only hurting your marriage.
5. Being overly critical
Your husband needs you to be his biggest cheerleader. He needs your support, your encouragement and love. When you constantly criticize him and make him feel self-conscious, he feels like he isn’t good enough for you. Along with that, when you criticize your husband, you are allowing yourself to be annoyed with him, which makes less room for you to feel love and affection for him. Instead of just focusing on something negative that is bothering you, think about all the good things you love about your husband. That will make it easier to overlook the other stuff.
6. Listening to respond
When you’re only listening to your husband so you can formulate a response, you’re not really listening. He needs to feel like you’re listening just to listen- and he can tell when you’re just waiting to speak. If he wants to talk to you about something, make sure you give him your full attention and just focus on listening to him. He’ll appreciate you more for caring enough to let him rant.
If you’re doing one of these things, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed- it simply means there are ways to improve. If you really love your husband, it’ll be worth taking the time to trash these bad habits.