6 ways you and your partner can become the perfect couple
Posted July 31
You and your partner would have to have a pretty awesome relationship if you were to call yourselves the perfect couple.
But in a way, we all know the perfect couple, according to Verily magazine, which recently put together a list of traits and characteristics that partners need to have in order to consider themselves an ideal couple.
“We all know that ‘perfect’ couple with the fun-loving Facebook wall and gorgeous Instagram feed. We also know how unhelpful they can be on those tough days when we feel like our relationships are on the rocks,” Verily’s Monica Gabriel Marshall wrote this week. “They look so happy, so carefree — what am I doing wrong?”
These perfect couples weren’t created overnight. They are the result of years of hard work and continual efforts to make their relationships stronger.
Marshall said perfect couples often give themselves permission to be a quirky or oddball couple, just as long as they’re being true to themselves and their own beliefs.
Perfect couples also use their social networks and support groups to find out the best tips for managing a relationship. That is to say, they’ll get advice from other married couples that they can apply to their own marriage.
And, most importantly, perfect couples remind each other how much they care about each other. Sometimes this happens every day.
Still, there are some relationships that are far from perfect. As the UK’s Daily Mail reported in 2010, six out of 10 couples feel “unhappy in their relationship.”
You can improve your own relationship in myriad ways. We’ve brought together six different research reports and studies that outline how to have a perfect relationship.
Don’t text a lot
Researchers from Brigham Young University researchers found that couples who spend too much time texting actually aren’t happy with their relationship. In fact, couples who use text messaging to solve relationship issues or make decisions are less happy, too, the study found, according to The Huffington Post.
“Technology is more important to relationship formation than it was previously,” BYU researcher Lori Schade said in a statement. “The way couples text is having an effect on the relationship as well.”
A 2009 study published in Psychological Science found that couples tend to drift apart when partners are bored. Now, this study is a little strange. But basically researchers had a couple select one pair of overlapping circles out of a group of seven, with the choice meant to represent the couple’s feelings about the relationship. Couples who felt bored during their selection were more likely to select separated circles.
Post a lot on social media
Back in February of 2015, a study was published in Psychology of Popular Media Culture that found couples who post often on social media about their relationship tend to have happier relationships than those who don’t.
The study looked at the social media habits of more than 1,000 couples, who were asked about their relationship satisfaction. They found that those who posted more on social media reported higher feelings of satisfaction than those who didn’t.
“You can stop the eye-rolling,” wrote Kate Hakala for Mic. “The road to a happy modern relationship might be paved with the same tagged statuses and selfie shots that you've been posting for years.”
Make sure your friends like your partner
A 2015 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that couples need positive support from family and friends if they want to stay together. Researchers found that couples where a partner was good friends with their significant other’s friends tended to be more trusting and loving than couples where partners didn’t get along with their lover’s social group.
"Relationship stigma from friends in particular was associated with lower relationship commitment, trust, love and sexual communication, as well as greater odds of intimate partner aggression victimization," the study said.
Have a date night
Just because you’ve been together for months, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a solid date night to keep things fresh.
I previously wrote about a 2015 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships that found date nights keep couples engaged in their relationship. Even as the couples get older, date night keeps the relationship fresh, the study said.
Date night often requires couples to experience new activities and events that they normally wouldn’t be exposed to, which helps their brains feel newly inspired to keep their relationship going.
Make sure your partner is your best friend
A 2015 study that combined data from the National Bureau of Economic Research in Canada, British Household Panel Survey, the United Kingdom’s Annual Population Survey and the Gallup World Poll found that married couples are happier than single people.
OK, cool. Nice.
But more importantly for couples looking to create the perfect relationship — couples who said they were happiest had a spouse who they considered to be a best friend, according to The Huffington Post.
Part of the reason for this is because long-term platonic relationships come with their own benefits and create satisfaction, according to HuffPost.
So when you combine the two, it makes you even happier.
Herb Scribner is a writer for Deseret Digital Media.