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6 ways to give your husband what he needs the most (it's not what you think)

Posted July 24

There are things that all of us need in to have a well-rounded, healthy life. Sometimes we can work on ourselves to be happier and healthier, but other times we need someone to help us out. As a wife, there are some things you can do for your husband to help him get what he needs most out of life.

Here are six ways to do just that:

1. Encouragement

It’s funny that men have a reputation of being strong and not needing encouragement, yet male sports teams usually have a cheerleading squad doing just that. Your husband is no different. While he may not ask for it, or even seem like he needs it all the time, he really does. Everyone does. Whether it’s a simple “you can do it” or a full-blown conversation where you list the reasons why he can do something and why he should do it, he needs it. Encouragement, especially coming from you, means so much.

2. Support

Support isn't only about telling him he can do something and believing in him, but also supporting him throughout the process. It may mean you need to move to a new city, give something up, or delay one of your goals until he completes his goal. Actually supporting your husband can be much harder than just encouraging him — support means believing in him when he doesn't and following through with his ideas.

3. Peace

Your home should be a haven for your family; a place where they feel peace, love and support. You should be a big part of creating that peace. When your husband returns home, he needs a place to feel calm and be able to rejuvenate himself. Being a peaceful presence in his life is important for not only him, but each other. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever fight or have moments of excitement, stress and drama, it just means you're always actively working to maintain a peaceful balance for you and your family.

4. Constructive criticism

There is a difference between constructive criticism and putting him down. Constructive criticism comes from a place of love. Your goal is not to hurt him or tear him down, but rather give advice when he may need it most. He trusts you and your opinion matters to him. You don’t have to lie to spare his feelings, instead be open and kind, but tell the truth — it's what he needs.

5. Love

Of course, love makes this list. It’s essential to marriage, but too often it falls to the bottom of a very long list of priorities. With work, kids and life in general, sometimes we let other things take over our lives and we forget about love. Your husband needs to feel loved from you. Whether it’s a date night each week, texting him throughout the day, a surprise weekend getaway, love notes or taking time out to kiss each other goodnight, these are all simple ways to show your love. It doesn’t take much, but it is important.

6. Fun

Fun is actually a need for everyone. Being able to relax, laugh, take a load off and enjoy yourself is essential to life, but sometimes it is hard to do just that. Your husband needs you to be his reminder of what fun is. Don’t let him take life too seriously or he may lose sight of what is really important.

When you love someone, you want to do what is best for them, but sometimes it’s hard to know what it is they need. Feel free to adapt this list to fit your husband's needs and personality. You'll quickly find that by focusing on your husband's needs along with your own, your whole relationship will improve.

Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in Anthropology and a masters in Psychology. She lives in Orange County, CA and is a mother of twins. Contact her at Meganshauri@gmail.com

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