6 things your wife needs you to understand

Posted May 23

Women and men are different. That is obvious. But sometimes how to handle those differences is not so obvious. When it comes to trying to understand your wife, here are a few things she wants you to know:

Complaining about something is not a reflection on you

When your wife complains, it is possible that it actually has nothing to do with you. Unless she is complaining about you directly (pick up your socks!) than it is not about you. Try not to interpret her complaints about her day as meaning she is unhappy with her life because you are not giving her the life she wants. Don’t think that her commenting on how the washer broke again is her secret way of saying it is all of your fault the washer broke because you cannot afford to buy her a new one. It is not about you. Just pat her on the back, and let her get it out and move on.

Not every woman is a Betty Crocker

It seems cooking usually falls under the duty of the wife, but this doesn’t mean that every woman is a master chef. In fact, many people do not know more than just the basics. She may not even like to cook, or have the time to prepare a 5-course meal. Try taking turns being on food prep duty, or be patient when she serves you pancakes for the 5th time this week. It is a learning process and, to be honest, she may never master the skill.

Sometimes she just needs alone time

There are days when woman just need a little bit of time to themselves. If your wife is also a mother, then those days may be more frequent. It does not mean she is mad, tired of you (or her kids) or contemplating running away. It just means she needs to regroup, breath, and relax a moment before jumping right back into her crazy life.

Being a woman is harder than being a man

Sorry guys, we know that a man’s life can be hard, and you do have pretty big expectations on your shoulders, but a woman has much more to deal with. There is the fight for equality, the feeling of never being good enough, the constant struggle of succeeding professionally while trying to the best mother and wife she can, the monthly hormonal rollercoaster she gets to ride, plus all of the pressure of doing everything with a smile and happy attitude.

While your day may consist of going to work, perhaps the gym, and then home, her day has a list so full of things to do it won’t fit on one page. She is usually the last one to bed and the first one up, and you probably didn’t even notice. Give her a little bit of slack, and perhaps lend a helping hand once in a while.

Martha Stewart is not every woman’s idol

There are some women that really love decorating their homes, making crafts, and hosting the best parties, but other women do not. While your wife may keep a clean and tidy home, it does not mean it will be featured in a magazine. Just like men, women have different interests and talents. Having matching napkin rings and different colored pillows for every season may just not be her thing.

She is more sensitive than you

Women are usually more sensitive than men. That means your wife may cry more easily, she may get her feelings hurt more often, and she may be more emotional than you. Try to understand that this is just part of being a woman and not a reflection on you. In these situations, all she needs is for you to be a shoulder to cry on and give her a hug. Don’t stress too much, it is just something that comes with being a woman.

If you find any of these situations to be true about your wife, just know they are normal. Don’t be upset or confused- instead embrace the differences and enjoy the amazing woman that you have by your side.

Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in Anthropology and a masters in Psychology. She lives in Orange County, CA and is a mother of twins. Contact her at


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