6 signs she doesn't know if she should date you

Posted May 21

Playing the edge of the friend zone with a lady you’re trying to love can be difficult. If you feel like you’re getting mixed signals, you might actually be right. Here are six signs she doesn’t know if she should date you:

1. She runs hot and cold

If you’ve been spending time with a female friend and are starting to feel vibes between the two of you, don’t’ start fantasizing about future plans just yet. She’s not sure exactly what to make of the situation if sometimes she gives or accepts affection, and sometimes she rejects it. She may ignore your calls or texts for a while then suddenly have lots of free time to spend with you. She’s weighing her options and figuring out how she feels.

2. She “chills” with you

But spending time together doesn’t automatically me she’s warming up. Take note if she hangs out with you mostly in casual settings that can’t really be mistaken for a date. Alone or with friends, the atmosphere remains platonic and if pressed she could easily call it an outing.

3. She spoils the mood

She definitely is not convinced you’re dating material if you try to up the ante and create a romantic mood, and she just goes ahead and wrecks it. Likely a humors attempt to relieve the pressure, she won’t dash your dreams but she will turn up the lights so everyone can see; metaphorically and literally.

4. She introduces you as her friend

Or she just says your name and doesn’t give you a title. This is a tough one because even people who are officially dating can fall into this title trap. Getting the “friend” treatment is heartbreaking to someone on the love side of a crush. But there’s still hope- if asked if you two are dating, she gently indicates that you’re just friends; but doesn’t laugh it off as if it’s absurd.

5. She has reservations

You’re still in the hot seat if your crush seems uncomfortable at your bachelor pad or winces when you mention things about your past. They may make interesting stories but pay attention to how the woman in your life reacts to your harrowing tales of former debauchery. There’s no need to lie, but try to paint a picture of the more mature and responsible man she now sees before her; one worthy of her time.

6. She suggests improvements

She’s not sure if you’re worth the risk if she expresses concern or makes suggestions to improve your life... a lot! A little encouragement here or there won’t make much of a mark, but if she’s consistently giving you pointers to better yourself, or your situation, she’s noticing you’re not quite right for her- yet. Don’t lose hope. The fact that she’s pushing you forward means she could see potential down the road.

Having a friend who’s slowly becoming a romantic interest puts us all in a vulnerable spot. Letting them know outright you want more from them is a risk that many are not willing to take. But not showing interest could leave your love open to a more assertive suitor. When you start to dip your toe into the romance waters, take note of these mixed signals. Swaying emotions and confused feelings may mean having to dig a bit deeper and discover the real reasons behind the indecision. It may be hard to hear, but keep an open ear.

Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all