6 reactions to being dumped from a casual relationship
Posted May 19, 2016
Being dumped from a casual relationship can leave even the most confident woman confused and distraught. And when the breakup is done distastefully it just adds insult to injury. The reality of the situation may be very different than it seemed. And a lot can be said about a relationship by looking at its end. Here are a few appropriate and inappropriate reactions to being dumped by a guy who never actually gave you a title to begin with.
When a relationship that’s not really a relationship ends abruptly sometimes the best response is nothing. If the breakup is done respectfully over the phone or in person, accept the decision and move on. If it’s done in the all too common tacky text or, even worse, an email, do not respond at all. Don’t ask why, don’t get upset, and definitely don’t let ‘em see you sweat. And don’t cry over spilt milk. Save your tears for something real.
Now that this casual “whatever it was” is over you can breathe a sigh of relief. You’re finally free to pursue, or better yet be pursued by someone who wants nothing more than to make you his woman- officially. You might have had a few prospects you blew off to be with someone you hoped will take you a little more seriously. And in the end, serious is not what they were looking for. Now your eyes are wide open.
Let it go. Move on. Be happy. There’s nothing there to fawn over or pine for. Don’t hope he’ll change his mind because he probably won’t. And even if he does, you’ll always have to wonder what he didn’t see in you before that he claims to see in you now. It’s not worth the trouble.
When a man decides he no longer wants to spend time with someone he’s been dating casually, hanging on will only make you look desperate and needy. He clearly didn’t see anything two special between the two of you, so you shouldn’t either.
Anger is a natural reaction to being rejected, no matter the situation. If you’re angry at the rejection in general, not necessarily of losing him, give yourself a little time to work through it, and then get over it. Don’t let that anger linger because it will affect the type of guys you attract after he is gone.
Hurt is often the underlying emotion that drives anger, and feeling hurt at rejection is also normal. But being hurt by someone who wasn’t yours is applying importance to something that didn’t deserve it. Channel that hurt into making better decisions in the future. Know where you stand and where things are likely to go with someone who doesn’t feel the need to make you a permanent part of his life.
Casual relationships can be attractive entities. Easy in, easy out. No real rules or boundaries. Flowing and breezy- there’s no pressure or expectations. And that’s what makes them not relationships. So when they end, they often don’t receive the same consideration or respect as real relationships. If you want to feel special all the way up until the end, opt out of casual and stick with traditional dating.
Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!