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6 behaviors you should NOT tolerate in a relationship

Posted June 28

It’s true that being in love gives you rose-tinted glasses — your love seems perfect in every way, no matter what they do. But this kind of perception can be dangerous, especially if the one whom you love takes advantage of your rosy filter.

Here are six behaviors and habits that should never be tolerated in a relationship, no matter how much you love someone:

1. Belittling you

If someone really loved you, they wouldn’t put you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Your partner shouldn’t insult you in any way, and if they do, this problem needs to be addressed.

Genuine love is kind. Your sweetheart should be there to uplift you and inspire you to love yourself. Instead, if they make you feel self-conscious in any way, stop making excuses for your darling and break it off.

2. Lying

Happy couples are 100 percent honest with each other always (with the exception of planning a fun surprise, of course). If your partner is lying to you, it shows there’s a lack of trust in the relationship. It also greatly weakens your communication — the foundation of any relationship. Don't tolerate even tiny white lies in your relationship.

3. Cheating

Every relationship handles this differently, and there’s no cure-all solution. However, cheating is serious and should never be tolerated in a committed, exclusive relationship. If your partner is cheating and tries to minimize its seriousness (or worse, blames you for their infidelity), it's time to leave.

It’s heart-breaking working through the trial of a cheating partner, but their mistake is not your fault. Your pain is not an exaggeration, and you are validated for feeling the way you do. Discuss things with your partner and seriously consider where your relationship is going from here on out.

4. Authoritative jealousy

If your partner is so jealous that they try to prevent you from doing certain things, that isn’t OK. It’s understandable if your husband doesn’t like you going out to lunch with an ex-boyfriend, but if your partner won’t let you go to lunch with a few girlfriends, that's a big red flag.

I have a friend whose husband wouldn’t even allow her to go see a movie with her own brother. When she invited her husband to come along with them, he refused. She sadly had to cancel the plans with her brother and go home to a cranky husband.

Your sweetheart should trust you and your relationship enough to allow you to be your own person — even when they’re not around.

5. Guilting you into doing things

If you’re uncomfortable doing something, your partner shouldn’t pressure you into doing it. This can apply to a wide variety of things. If you’re not in the mood to go to that get-together, your husband should accept that, and vice versa.

This also applies to intimacy. Your parter should never bully you into being intimate, ever.

6. Belittling your aspirations

Your darling should be your greatest cheerleader; they're supportive and loving. Whether you’re looking at short-term goals (like losing five pounds) or more long-term (like being promoted to a six-figure position) your partner should cheer you on and help you when you stumble.

If your partner really does love you, these six things shouldn’t be a problem. If they are, talk things through and keep your line of communication open and honest. Any relationship worth saving can be saved, so have faith and stay positive.

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