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5 ways to embrace being a "homemaker" and never feel bad about it

Posted April 10

Yes, you chose being home with your children over a career. So what? (Deseret Photo)

Ever since I could remember, I had ambitious career goals.

And I’m not just talking about “I’m going to be a princess,” or “I’m going to be a cowgirl.” I’m talking about real, concrete, career ambition.

From ages 6 to 9 it was a CEO. Ages 10 to 22 it was an international lawyer.

I always made sure to let everyone know these were my ambitions, and made sure to read and study and watch as many things as I could about my perspective careers.

But all along the way there was something I had a desire to be as well: a mother.

I knew all along there probably would be a time when I would have to set aside my career or at least put it on pause to stay at home and raise my children.

The funny thing is when I told people this; they tried to convince me otherwise. And they weren’t the only ones: in fact, it seemed the world was out to prove it was ridiculous to be fulfilled by a career and by staying home with children.

But guess what? This idea is totally false.

Here are 5 ways to embrace being a “homemaker” and to never feel bad about it:

You have a choice and that is GREAT

Some people say that if you truly believe in women and having them reach their fullest potential you can’t set aside career goals and ambitions just to stay at home.

These people misunderstand the great stride woman have made in the past couple years and the feminist movement in general. This is because real feminism is actually giving the woman, and any gender in general, the chance to do anything they want.

Your choice is your power, so should you choose to work until you have children; good for you.

Don’t worry about the haters

As queen Taylor Swift says, “The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”

There are always going to be people who criticize your lifestyle and tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, but it is YOUR LIFE.

Although at times it may be difficult, ignore the naysayers. There will be times where you might be a little insecure with your decision and might miss the things you did in your career but that’s ok too.

Remind yourself to enjoy what you are doing now and also take joy for the future and what it holds for your children, your career, and you.

Learn from the people you admire

As mentioned before, there may be times when you struggle with the whole “homemaker” thing.

You may start to think about how nice it was to get dressed up every day and go to an office. You may start to miss having co-workers.

All this may be happening because you feel like you have no skills when it comes to the home or being a creative and loving mom.

In these cases, turn to those people you admire who have this experience to give you some helpful advice. Identify these people and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Check out blogs and articles that can inspire you.

Don’t feel sorry for what you do

People may try to make you feel sorry for “just” staying at home and doing “traditional woman’s work.”

Don’t ever apologize for choosing anything, especially for wanting to be present in the raising of your children.

This is your life; you should never have to apologize for the choices you make, especially if it’s one you and your husband made together, and you find complete satisfaction in.

Think about the goals you have set for your life and how to achieve them

In each stage of life you will hopefully have set goals for yourself.

For a while, these might have involved goals for your career, but now they center more on how to raise your children.

Make sure to focus on those goals as much as any others, and remember them when you feel like giving up and turning your back on one of those areas in your life.

No one said you can’t still have career aspirations and goals when you are at home with the kids, in fact that may be the time to reflect and refine those goals.

Love what you do, do what you love. Enjoy seeing your children grow and being a part of their everyday lives. Enjoy the time you had when you were working and climbing up the corporate latter or whatever you did. Nothing can replace being a mother, and no one should tell you are any less of a woman for accepting that.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at FamilyShare.com. She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism. Tamsyn has written and edited for Scroll, BYU-Idaho's newspaper.

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