5 tips for breaking up with the man who doesn't return your love
Posted February 17
Falling in love is a beautiful and wonderful experience, unless you find out the other person doesn’t really love you back. Then it's heartbreaking and devastating. You know that you need to break up with him, but you still hold out hope that he will return your feelings and you can have your happily ever together. That hope will never fade as long as you are in the relationship, so take charge and break up with him.
Here are five tips on how to make a clean break up:
1. Practice and be prepared
You love him, so know what you want to say when you break up with him. Practice using the “ripping off the bandaid” approach. It is better to be clear about what you want to talk about. Just spit it out, “We should break up.” Practice explaining why you should break-up and consider how he might react. Don't leave things vague or unclear. Be direct and don't back down.
It’s a good idea to practice what you want to say (outloud) at least three times before you do it. Practice in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend. Practice will help you get the confidence to actually talk to him. Hearing yourself say these things will also help you recognize why you need to break up with him.
2. Consider timing and location
Birthdays, funerals, graduations and other important events are bad times to break-up. Don’t delay the break-up, but be considerate of what's going on in his life. Always break-up in person if that is possible. Public break-ups are humiliating, so do it in private.
Being considerate of the timing and location will show the other person that you care, even though the relationship needs to end. It will help the break-up to go smoothly.
3. Avoid arguments, not questions
Don’t let him argue with your reasons for breaking up, but allow him to ask questions. Honesty is the best policy, but don’t be brutal. Answer his questions the best you can and if it starts turning into an argument say something like “This isn’t something to argue about, I’ve made my decision.”
Avoid phrases like “we need to take a break” or “it’s not you, it’s me.” You are ending the relationship for good reasons. Be confident in your decision. You are allowed to be concerned about yourself. You can’t be in a relationship where you give your heart and receive nothing in return.
4. Cut off contact
Don’t even attempt the "we can be friends" thing. You need to get over him, so break off all contact. This can be hard if you work together, but do not spend time with him outside of a work environment and don't text him. Unfriend him on all social media platforms, and switch up your routine so you stop bumping into each other. By ending contact, you give yourself the opportunity to get over him and move on with your life.
5. Set aside time to heal
Even though you are breaking up with him, you still love him and it’s going to be hard for you. Give yourself time to heal. It’s okay to take your time. Spend time with your friends and family and allow yourself to get used to not being in a relationship. Don’t allow yourself to constantly think of your ex.
Falling in love is never a bad thing. You fall in love with someone because you can see the good in them. There is nothing wrong with being in love, but never be afraid to end the relationship if it needs to be ended. You should never stay with someone who abuses you physically, emotionally or sexually.
If you are too scared to break-up with him, get someone who you trust and who can protect you involved. Never be afraid to go to the police in situations of physical and sexual abuse. You deserve to love and be loved.
Stacie Simpson is a journalism student. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.