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5 times moms don't owe you (or anyone) an apology

Posted June 20

Moms have it rough. Nowadays, it seems that no matter what you do for your children, you’re doing something wrong. Moms are constantly under pressure to be the perfect parent and look great while you do it. I know my sweet mother still feels guilty for doing (or not doing) certain things during my childhood, but I think I turned out all right in spite of it all. (Kidding, of course. Mom, you’re perfect.)

There are times when moms, no matter how guilty they feel or how much someone judges them, don’t owe you or anyone else an apology. When they’re doing the best they can, and giving themselves completely to raising a family, they don't need to apologize.

Here are five times moms shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks:

1. Being 10 minutes late to a play date

We know how hard it is to get kids ready for ANYTHING. (Don’t even get me started on getting kids dressed during the winter.) Anyone who matters will understand if you’re a few minutes late.

You can’t always control how many tantrums your kid throw while you try to get them dressed, how many times they try to unbuckle themselves from the car seat or how long it took to get matching shoes on the right feet. You’ve had a long morning, and if someone gives you a hard time for being ten minutes late, they clearly don’t have kids.

2. Not wearing makeup

You devote your entire day to taking care of your children, and that’s incredible. You’re lucky if you have a few minutes to eat throughout the day, let alone pull out the mascara. Oh, and last time you tried to take time to primp yourself without your husband at home, disaster ensued. No need to apologize for not wearing a speck of makeup for days on end.

3. Having a sick kid

I was going to meet up with a friend for lunch the other day, but she cancelled. Her baby was sick and she couldn’t take her to the babysitter’s. She felt terrible. Sure, I was disappointed that I didn’t get to see my friend, but the constant apologizing was really unnecessary. I know she was disappointed too, but having a sick kid was out of her control. When you're little babe is ill, you should never feel like you have to apologize for putting them first.

4. Not wanting to go out

You knew things would change when you became a mom, but you never thought you’d become the boring mom. Your friends are going out for a girl’s night, and you probably had every intention of going, but when the evening rolled around, you were just too tired. It’s not like you don’t wish you had energy to go party with your girls, but you’ve devoted every last drop of your energy to your children. That’s something you should be proud of, so don’t feel like you owe your friends an apology.

5. Doing what you think is best for your kids

No matter what you do as a parent, there’s going to be someone who thinks they have the right to tell you that you’re wrong. Trust your own natural instincts —follow your gut and give yourself more credit. You’re doing a great job and if you’re doing the best you can, that’s enough. Your kids are going to turn out great ... even if you occasionally forget the coconut oil.

Women are naturally more self-conscious than they deserve to be and that constant guilt and shame comes tenfold when they become mothers. Instead of shaming each other and confronting each other with unwarranted advice, mothers should support each other. Give yourself more credit and spend your valuable time doing something else, not apologizing.

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