5 things you should absolutely demand in your relationship

Posted May 4

Many women have a fear of sounding too demanding, especially when it comes to their relationships.

And there is definitely a point where this can happen, like if you expect your man to bring you flowers every single day, or to always wear a suit, or to always be a perfect husband or boyfriend.

If you expect these things you are approaching the demanding line.

However, there are certain things within all relationships that are okay (actually more than okay), to demand.

Every relationship should come with certain rights that if broken, should probably end that relationship. In a healthy and lasting relationship, these rights won't come off as demands but ways to show love and kindness towards your partner.

1. Affection; your way and his way

I’m sure we are all familiar by now with the love languages and the notion that everyone expresses the emotion of love in different ways.

Even if you do know each other's love languages, it's perfectly fine to ask your mister to show affection in a certain way. Whether that's the obvious choice of physical touch, or some other love language, it's important you both are getting the type of affection you need. Make sure you both understand and feel comfortable talking about each other's love languages and affection needs in your relationship.

2. Complete honesty

This may seem like a no brainer, but it is still a good idea to bring up at the beginning and middle of every relationship.

Complete honesty creates transparency within the relationship, meaning there are no secrets between the two of you. Being completely honest takes away any guessing games and also creates trust and respect between the two of you. It also means you will have to be vulnerable with each other, which only brings you closer together.

3. Reciprocation

This means letting your man know what you need, and then in turn listening to what he needs.

Reciprocation is important because with it, neither one will be left feeling they are giving more than they are receiving. It's a tricky balance to maintain, but making sure you both are giving and getting the things that make you happy makes one a happy relationship.

4. Alone time

Being together 24/7 is a sure-fire way to tire of anyone, even the person you are constantly with is the man you are head over heals for.

Distance, or in this case alone time, really will make the heart grow fonder.

Asking, or really just expecting, that each of you will need some time on your own is both healthy and necessary. Don’t be hurt when he asks you for an hour or even a day to do his thang, because he shouldn’t be either when you ask him for the same.

5. Emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a healthy and long-lasting relationship, and is definitely something that should be demanded or expected.

If emotional intimacy is lacking, then everything else in the relationship will be as well. It is important to create this connection between you and your man. If you are demanding any of the above steps in your relationship, this one should come pretty easily.

Don’t be afraid to demand the things that will make your relationship so much stronger, and make you and your man so much happier.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism. Tamsyn has written and edited for Scroll, BYU-Idaho's newspaper.


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