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5 things to do when your marriage is on the rocks

Posted April 7

Marriage is no walk in the park. It takes work — a lot of it. Any married couple will tell you that there are definitely days when those wonderful feelings of love they feel for their spouse have left the building.

A few years ago my husband and I were having one of those weeks. We couldn’t agree on anything, the kids were driving us crazy, the house was a wreck and we only had a few dollars in the bank. We were both at the end of our ropes, we weren’t speaking, we weren’t working together and we definitely weren’t feeling the love.

I was standing at the kitchen sink hating everyone for the pile of dirty dishes I was having to do. I was wondering how I got there and when it was going to get better. I hated being mad at the man I love.

So, I decided to try something. I picked up my phone and texted one line to my husband. “I love the way you make me laugh.” I didn’t get a response at first, so I tried again. “I love how hard you work for our family.” A few minutes later he responded with something he loved about me. It worked! We continued this string of “I love the way...” messages for 10 minutes or so until we finally ended up in the same room — we were both smiling. Focusing on what we love about each other had made us forget all the negative things that had happened that week.

So what else do you do when you don't feel in love with your man? Here is a list of five easy ways to get that lovin’ feeling back.

1. Go on a date

This simple act can make all the difference when you aren’t having especially good feelings in your relationship. Sometimes just removing yourselves from your stressful situation will change your mood immediately. Just remember to laugh, make it fun and not talk about anything stressful. Dates are a time to get to know your other half better and reconnect as a couple.

2. Surprise him

When couples are dating, they always look for ways to make each other smile. Why should that stop once they are married? Surprise him with his favorite snack at the end of a long day, or drop it off at his office. Rent that movie he's been wanting to see and watch it with him after the kids go to bed. Doing something nice to surprise your hubby will not only put a smile on his face, it will make you feel good too.

3. Give him a hug

Research shows that hugging releases oxytocin, a feel good hormone that helps you bond with the person you are hugging. There is no relationship more important for these things to happen in than a marriage.

4. Pray together

This can be a tough one if you are really mad, but it is so worth it in the end. When you take his hand, get on your knees and pray, peace is sure to follow.

5. Focus on the positive

When you remember why you married him in the first place (and all the good qualities he has), it’s easier to forget about all the negative aspects of your life together. Counting your blessings is a sure way to get your relationship back on track.

Marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s worth working on. Keep the love alive by trying these simple things with your mister today.

Heather Dennie is a happily married Jesus lovin' mama of 3. She teaches high school and loves all things creative. She uses her creativity to love others, teach, write, and design and create happy things at https://www.etsy.com/shop/SouthernMissBowti

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