banner
Family

5 startling things men and peacocks have in common

Posted June 6

Don't understand men? Trust me, peacocks will help. (Deseret Photo)

We guys think we're pretty easy to understand, but apparently the general population of women in the world disagrees.

Fear not.

If you can learn a little more about an average peacock, you'll learn a lot more about your average male.

Showy

Let's get the obvious out of the way ... We want your attention.

The peacock fans out its glamorous tail feathers to divert your attention to him and away from anything and everything else. If the feather fan doesn't work, the peacock will even start to shake its tail feathers to get the attention of an aloof peahen (the name for a female peafowl).

The human male equivalents to the feather fan take the forms of an obnoxiously loud motorcycle, unwise daredevil activities or, even, peacocking.

Uncomplicated

We try to impress you; but, honestly, beneath the feathers, we're basically just glorified chickens.

We're really simple creatures. We require food, shelter and more food. We're not picky. We say exactly what we mean. The fancy stuff is just for you. Underneath the need to impress, we're wearing the same clothes we bought in 1997.

Immortal

The peacock was a symbol of immortality in ancient times ... Not hard to see the connection, is it? One look at car insurance rates today easily gives away just how immortal we guys think we are. Let’s face it, we believe ourselves to be made of Kevlar.

And as bones heal, so does our pride. We quickly forget the pain from irrational risks, and time and again the elixir of life courses through our veins motivating us to test our limitlessness.

(The peacock is also known as a cultural symbol for pride and vanity. We're quite proficient at both.)

Territorial

Like the peacock, we're territorial creatures.

If we're romantically interested in you but you're the most eligible peahen around, we may need to ruffle a few rival males' feathers.

We'll do what we must to get you to say our feather fan is the only feather fan for you.

Noncommittal

Peacocks tend to be involved with as many peahens as possible at the same time. Likewise, we guys love attention from multiple women. Committing to just one can be difficult sometimes. We realize this is unfair, especially considering our territorial nature.

But, when one of us does commit to you, you can be confident we know you’re a The next time you have a question about a man's strange behavior, just turn to the majestic peacock. Within its train of colors and barbaric yawp hides the wisdom you seek.

David Snell is a humor writer for the FamilyShare team. He's OK. Twitter: @e_snell

Comments

Please with your WRAL.com account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all