5 relationship expectations every woman needs to drop
Posted July 20
For as long as you can remember, you’ve dreamed about your Prince Charming. You even adored all those princess movies that end with a “happily ever after.” Of course, your love story would be pretty similar, right?
Unfortunately, real-life relationships aren’t like the movies. While you might have found your Prince Charming, your idea of a “happy ever after” isn’t coming as easily as you would have hoped.
Everyone goes into a relationship with expectations. It’s normal to have standards you hope your partner can meet, but some expectations are just unfair.
In order to be truly happy in a relationship, every woman needs to drop these five expectations:
1. Our relationship is 50/50
There’s nothing wrong with wanting equality in a relationship. You and your sweetheart should be equal partners, working together toward the same goal. Unfortunately, not every day is like this. Sometimes, someone in the relationship will be having a bad day, and the other person will need to pick up the slack.
I hate to tell you, but sometimes, your honey will be cranky and rude. And you’re going to have to be patient and kind. This doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it just means they need you to love them a little extra that day.
It’s also pretty difficult (if not impossible) to evenly split everything like housework, income and childcare. Instead of expecting a 50/50 relationship, talk about what seems fair and realistic for the both of you, and both decide to go the extra mile to help each other out.
2. Our relationship will make me happy
This one isn’t necessarily wrong, it’s just incomplete. Your love should make you happy (you definitely shouldn’t be unhappy in a relationship). However, it’s important to understand that a relationship takes hard work — there will be some struggles on the way.
Being in a relationship won’t fix all of your problems, but it's a common misconception. A good friend of mine once said, “if I could just find a guy who loved me, I’d be happy.” While falling in love is a wonderful, beautiful thing, it’s not the end-all to every problem. My friend (and every woman out there) will still have troubles, even when loved by an awesome guy.
A woman going into a relationship with that expectation is bound to be disappointed.
3. He’s always going to be Prince Charming
It’s pretty great when your darling comes in and sweeps you off your feet. He’s a total catch — but he can’t always be like that. He’s going to have his bad days (just like you) and it’s unfair to expect him to always be the perfect man. He won’t always be spontaneous and romantic.
But the great thing about a committed relationship is that you two promise to love each other through all the ups and downs. He’s definitely still has charm, but he won’t always be the same man he was when you two first started dating. And you'll change too — isn’t that a good thing?
4. He should want to do everything that I like to do
It’s always great when you and your sweetheart share similar interests and hobbies. Unfortunately, it’s unlikely you’ll find someone who shares 100 percent of your interests (including your low-key obsession with Ryan Gosling).
You probably won’t like everything that he does, and that’s OK, too. You two don’t have to like all the same things to be in love.
5. Everything will change once we’re married
Albert Einstein once said “men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
While your love and relationship will change and grow as time progresses, a wedding ceremony will not transform your husband into the man you always hoped he would become. He will still be the same man, and expecting him to change after you two have exchanged vows will only end in disappointment.
Men and women both carry expectations with them into a relationship, which is perfectly normal. You shouldn’t have to drop all your standards in a relationship, but you should at least be fair. When you can learn to love someone for their differences and imperfections, you’re bound to be happier in the long run.