5 problems marriage won't fix

Posted June 7

Even the best happily ever after can’t erase these problems. (Deseret Photo)

If you are waiting for marriage to solve your issues, it’s time for a wakeup call. Of course being able to spend forever with your mister means sharing secrets (and ice cream) with your very own handsome Mr. Fix-It. However, there are some problems that even the most fabulous Prince Charming won’t be able to fix for you. Some things need solving all on your own.

Get these troubles out of the way before your big day because they won’t disappear once you both say “I do:”

Feeling lonely

Marriage means a lot of things, but you can still be lonely even with a husband by your side. The switch from being single to being married can be isolating, especially if you are moving to a new state or are the only one of your friends who’s taken the leap into matrimony. Having a husband can’t eliminate the loneliness in your life. If you are feeling depressed and lonely before marriage, chances are that will continue into your marriage.

Realize the problem and do what’s necessary to get you feeling independent rather than lonely before you put on that white dress.

Your life goals

If your goals in life start with “when I get married, then I can…”, adjust your mindset. You don’t need a spouse to get started on your bucket list. Sure, it would be great to travel with your man, but if he’s not in the picture right now, don’t let the opportunity pass you by. There’s always a reason to not go back to school, or start looking into working for that company; don’t let marriage be another excuse. Your future husband would love to marry someone who didn’t just wait around before accomplishing her dreams.

Problems with pornography

Thinking that an issue with viewing pornography will go away once you get married is a lie. This is an addiction that can’t be solved with marriage; it will continue to hurt yourself and will begin to hurt your partner. Take responsibility and work to overcome your addiction before it starts to harm someone else in your life.

Feeling valued

It’s easier to feel loved when you have someone who tells you so every day. As true as that may be, feeling confident and loved are also feelings you can get no matter what your relationship status is. Learning to love yourself and build up your own self-confidence only means that your husband doesn’t have to convince you that you’re wonderful; that’s already something you know.

Your happiness

Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy. Of course, the man you marry should make you laugh, make you smile, and the thought of spending forever with him makes you so happy it hurts. However, it is not your husband’s responsibility to make you happy all of the time. That task is too much for someone else to shoulder. It is your responsibility to be happy.

The life you create with your husband will help or hinder that goal, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that once you’ve got his last named tagged onto yours, you will finally be happy. Things don’t fall into place that easily. Make the decision now to choose to be happy no matter where you are in life. Don’t rely on a situation or a person to do it for you.

Emily is a graduate of Brigham Young University and is a staunch believer in pie as breakfast food. Read more about her travels and tastings at


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