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5 lies wives tell themselves about lying to their husbands

Posted October 18

Think telling little lies to your husband is OK? Think again. Here are 5 lies wives need to stop telling themselves about lying in their marriage. (Deseret Photo)

Sometimes lies are necessary. Sometimes they’re for the best. Sometimes they really don’t even matter. Right? Wrong. If you tell yourself these things about lying in your marriage, you’re hurting yourself and the one you love. And you probably need to lie to yourself in order to do it. So watch out. Here are 5 lies wives tell themselves about lying to their husbands.

1. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

If you’ve ever been lied to, and you have, you know this self-sabotaging secrecy is completely untrue. What your husband doesn’t know can and does hurt him and your marriage. What you need to come to terms with is why he would be hurt by the truth in the first place. If this is because of your actions you should work on yourself and raise your integrity and respect in your marriage.

2. “He’ll forgive me so it’s okay.”

You may have a forgiving husband but that doesn’t mean you should take advantage of his kind nature. If he gives an inch and you take a mile, you should learn to appreciate what many women pine for in their marriages. There’s no reason to test his patience when you already know it’s nearly endless. And if you can avoid finding out where the cutoff is, cut your losses now and start fessing up to the truth before it’s too late.

3. “I’m protecting his feelings.”

This is another way to say “I don’t trust him to deal with his own feelings,” or even worse, “He can’t handle life like an adult.” This is typical of co-dependent marriages, where one spouse will try to control the emotions of the other. It may come from a good place, as husbands and wives don’t want to see their precious partners hurting. But this is nonetheless damaging to a marriage. Both partners need and deserve to deal with the truth.

4. “Little white lies don’t count.”

White lies are sneaky little things. They create a sense of comfort with the idea of lying. Slowly but surely little white lies become bigger gray lies. Then all of a sudden you’re simply lying to your husband because you can. And neither of you know what happened.

5. “It’s not lying if he doesn’t ask.”

Withholding the truth is still a lie. Many wives figure if their husbands don’t care enough to ask they don’t need the answer. But how does it feel when people you care about withhold things from you? If this thought makes you feel unappreciated, uncared for or offended, don’t do it to anyone else.

There are many reasons wives lie to their husbands, and husbands to their wives. Like fear of rejection, preventing an argument or preserving one’s pride to name a few. But in the end, lying puts a band-aid on a much bigger problem. The real issues are the things you’re lying about. They may be major sources of strife in a marriage if exposed. They also may be minor problems that can be talked through and worked out. But lying doesn’t resolve the issues, it only makes them worse. It may even create a problem where there is none if the lying becomes impulsive and has little basis. Here it just becomes part of your personality. Don’t let this happen; kick lying out for your marriage.

Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!

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