5 good qualities that don't make him Mr. Right
Posted February 15
Finding a guy with a great smile, similar values and a successful career can feel like a dream come true. But just because he has amazing qualities doesn’t always mean he’s right for you. There are several great qualities that won’t automatically make a man Mr. Right. Here are five of them:
1. He’s successful
Being successful in any walk of life is quite alluring for most women. Whether he’s thriving as an entrepreneur, in his chosen career field or as a financially independent philanthropist, finding a man who is doing well at what he loves is great. But being set in his life doesn’t mean he’s the man for you. What he actually does for a living and why he does it can say a lot about him. His career values may clash with your personal values and this can cause conflict in a relationship. Long hours or being on-call 24-7 can also cause a rift in your romance. And being in the public eye or in love with a highly sought after man can be truly difficult to deal with. For things to work, you need to be willing to live the life his success creates.
2. He’s well off
Making good money doesn’t make a man grown. An acquaintance admitted to me that even though he had a well-paying job that he loved and his own home, he absolutely did not have his stuff together. How a man makes (or doesn't make) his own living can also speak volumes about who he is and the kind of partner he is. Every woman wants to feel safe, protected and comfortable. Biologically speaking women will prefer a man with more resources. But marrying a wealthy man is far from a guarantee of a happily ever after. Pay attention to how much of his life is focused on making money versus creating a safe and comfortable life for the both of you.
3. He’s educated
Intellectual connection is a huge and underrated part of successful relationships. However, being with a brainiac is not always a safe bet. I know from experience how some hyper-intellectual men can be emotionally cold and stunted. They can sometimes become physically aloof and even psychologically manipulative. An educated man is likely to be above average in intelligence, and these sour signs should be paid attention to. Dating someone with a higher educational degree doesn’t mean you’ll always be on the same mental playing field. There are no guarantees in love, so get to know him beyond his degrees.
4. He’s nice
Nice guys don’t always finish last. But settling for a nice guy without the prerequisite sparks can spell disaster later on in life. Don’t go for a guy just because he’s sweet to you. You can find someone who presses the right buttons and treats you well if you look hard and long enough.
5. He’s experienced
Having several relationships under his belt doesn’t necessarily mean your man has had all the practice he needs to make things work with you. I know several couples who’ve only had long-term relationships, including ones upwards of seven years. Staying together means they know how not to break up, but that doesn’t mean they know how to be in a healthy relationship. There have been multiple infidelities, mistrust and secrets in both couples’ current and previous relationships. But they stayed together for years.
These people have different values and temperaments than their partners. But they’d rather be part of a couple than face the world on their own. Make sure your guy doesn’t need to be part of a couple, but rather truly knows what it means to be in a partnership.
Great qualities can add up to a wonderful man. But that doesn’t make him your soul mate. Search longer, dig deeper and find that great guy that is truly perfect for you.
Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!