5 early signs he's not the right guy
Posted October 4
There is nothing worse than falling in love with a great guy only to find out too late that he is far from perfect. But what if you could get a grip on some warning signs and drop out before your heart is all in? Don’t waste your time on Mr. Wrong.
Here are 5 early signs he is not the right guy:
1. He only compliments your physical features
You may feel amazing or flattered when your date gushes over your physique. But if he never moves on to anything deeper, you’ve got a problem. The wrong guy will focus on your face and body or other surface level attributes. But unfortunately he doesn’t notice much about your personality, your values, your interests or anything else. Mr. Wrong will get stuck on your beauty and never bother to dig further down into your layers; into what makes you, you.
2. He doesn’t plan
The wrong guy likes to do things last minute. He thinks he’s being spontaneous and exciting when he tries to whisk you off somewhere fun and doesn’t give you notice. In reality he doesn’t acknowledge or respect your time or schedule. Not planning his shenanigans also means he doesn’t put effort into learning about what you like, because chances are, if he doesn’t plan he’s not prepared to keep you comfortable. This is also true if he often cancels, is perpetually late, or always seems to change plans last minute. He’s just not thinking about what you need and only what’s convenient for him.
3. He doesn’t understand his past
The wrong guy will blame others for his past relationship issues without acknowledging how he contributed to them. He speaks jokingly, crudely or nonchalantly about his own hurtful behaviors or is lying about his previous relationships. He will almost always vilify his exes, or act as if he has no understanding of them. As if they’re complete strangers.
All of this means he looks outwards and doesn’t self-reflect in order to grow as a person. This is a definite red flag.
4. He doesn’t like to hear you talk
Someone who is not right for you is not really interested in what you have to say. He doesn’t listen to you talking about your work day, nor does he swoon at the sound of your voice. There is a place in an endearing relationship for enjoying silence with someone you love. But be warned if your beau really doesn’t like to hear your side of things. If your guy acts annoyed when you’ve been talking for more than 30 seconds, he probably feels you should be seen and not heard. And that’s a big no-no in the game of love.
5. He doesn’t connect with your pets
It may seem outlandish, but you can rely on your pets to tell you who you should date and who you shouldn’t. But just because your pet doesn’t connect with your guy doesn’t automatically exclude him from your life. It’s actually more about whether or not your potential partner tries to form a bond with the animals in your life.
If he doesn’t seem to take interest in your living pet, or isn’t compassionate about you losing a pet, he’s not concerned about the things you are concerned about. He doesn’t care about what captures your heart and mind.
It’s easy to ignore these red flags early on. You think they might change or evolve in the future, as the one you want falls deeper in love with you. But these telltale signs of incompatibility are not generally things that change overtime. They are a testament to who the person is. And this person is not right for you.
Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!