4 ways to stop using your number one evil power against your husband
Posted January 24
You and your husband have the ability to influence each other for good and bad. Both of you can heal or destroy your marriage since you have an equal amount of influence over each other. When there is conflict in your marriage sometimes words go flying that you’ll soon regret. You both need to learn to control your tongue.
Your number one evil power is sarcasm.
Sarcasm aggravates conflict, shames you and the person you use it against and alienates those you love. There is truth in every sarcastic statement, though you may claim you are joking. Sarcasm will destroy your marriage.
Here is how you can avoid the evil influence of sarcasm:
1. Recognize you use sarcasm
Do you know when you use sarcasm? Speaking sarcastically is often ingrained in many people’s vocabulary. You might not notice you are using sarcasm. Generally sarcasm is used during conflicts with your husband, when you are stressed and when you are tired.
2. Talk to your husband
Find out if your husband is hurt by your use of sarcasm and apologize. Often times your husband will not say anything about it so watch his body language. Telling your husband you want to change will improve your communication. It will also help you remain accountable. He knows you are trying.
3. Think, don’t respond
Think carefully about what you are about to say in situations when you generally use sarcasm. Since using this power has become a habit, it will take for your brain to not automatically release a sarcastic comment. This will help you avoid damaging your relationship even more.
Pay attention to what your body language is saying. When your mind thinks it is being attacked then your body responds by taking a defensive or offensive position.
Often sarcasm is used when your body is tense. By relaxing your body, your thoughts will be clearer and you will be more careful in how you respond.
4. Express feelings regularly
Often sarcasm is used as a defensive mechanism, hiding how hurt, frustrated or upset you are. When you start to think about what you are going to say also ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?”
Expressing your feelings instead of saying a cutting remark will also improve your communication.
Never be afraid to take the time to apologize for any mistakes. Tell each other what went well that week and what needs to be improved. Set goals. The more you communicate with him, the better your relationship will be.
Sit down regularly with your husband to discuss both your feelings and his. Having this open communication will make it possible for the two of you to make your relationship stronger. Sarcasm may have it’s appropriate time and place, but it should never be used against your husband.
Stacie Simpson is a journalism student. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.