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Family

4 ways to help your husband feel appreciated

Posted May 29

When you live with and interact with someone on a daily basis, it's easy to begin to take the things that they do for granted. If your husband is like mine, he does a lot every day that helps you and the household. Does he know that you recognize and are grateful for everything he does? It's easy to remember to thank someone for something big and out of the ordinary, but the little things that are routine are just as important! Try doing one or all of these four things to help your husband know that he is appreciated for what he does:

1. Focus on the things he does rather than the things he doesn't do

A lot of wives have what we like to refer to as the "honey-do" list. The projects on that list may sit there for months, untouched. It can be frustrating when the things that you want done don't seem to matter to your husband. It can be easy to look at all of those tasks and remind him constantly that they are there, waiting for him to complete.

Instead of focusing on the things that you feel your husband should be doing and isn't, start to look at the things that he is doing. Maybe a yard project that he did for himself could benefit you in some way, let him know that you are grateful he did it. By focusing on the things that he is accomplishing and how they are benefitting you, not only will your attitude and viewpoint change, but your appreciation may make him more willing to complete the things on your list. People respond to positive feedback, so getting rid of the constant reminders and shifting to thanking your husband instead will benefit both of you.

2. Do something nice in return

The little things that are routine for your husband that he does are great things to take over for him for a week. If you make dinner and he cleans up, tell him to sit and relax or enjoy time with the kids while you take care of clean up for the night. Maybe you know that he's been meaning to mow the lawn but just hasn't had time. Fit some time into your day and take care of that for him.

If you're really ambitious, write him a little note at the beginning of the week letting him know how grateful you are for all that he does and let him know that he is free of all "chores" for the week or a certain number of days. Consider listing everything that you plan to take care of for him so that there isn't any confusion.

3. Surprise him with something out of the ordinary

Big surprises are perfect for when your husband has helped you with something big. For example, my husband has been a huge support to me as I've been going to school and has taken on a lot of extra household and parenting responsibilities so that I have been able to complete my degree. Plan a date night out that involves everything that he loves to do: book a golf game or fun night away for him and some of his guy friends, or get something for him that he's had his eye on for a while.

Find something that you know he would love to receive or do, and let him know that it is your way of thanking him for everything he has done for you.

4. Simply thank him and let him know that he's appreciated

It may sound easy, but how often do you say "thank you" when your husband does something? Even those little day-to-day tasks that have become part of his routine should be appreciated. Things like going to work, taking out the trash, cleaning up dinner, or playing with the kids while you take a minute to get something done are all things that he does that help you out. Find one little thing each day that you can thank him for- whether it's thanking him for working hard so that you can stay home with the kids or thanking him for the hug and kiss he gives you daily that mean so much to you. Those words, when said sincerely, will make your husband's day!

Showing appreciation for your husband and everything that he does will benefit both of you individually and as a couple. You will be more aware of the contributions that he is making to the household, and he will be more willing and eager to help you out, no matter what you are asking him to do.

Your appreciation may cause him to look for ways to show similar gratitude for you. Your marriage will be stronger because you are interacting in a positive way and seeking to appreciate each other, rather than looking for things you wish the other person would do differently.

Don't wait- find ways to appreciate your husband today!

Amberly has a bachelor's degree in Family Studies. She is passionate about inspiring couples to make their marriage a priority throughout every stage of life with traditions, communication and quality time.

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