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4 ways to get your man to read your mind

Posted May 24

Many women are sure they married someone who fits their “list.” Sure, you might not have actually written down characteristics of who they’d like to marry but you mentally kept notes. He might be tall, funny, educated, and have curly dark hair, but I’m guessing there was one glaring thing missing from that list you wish you would have included: mind reader. Don’t worry too much- if the look on your face doesn’t give your mister the slightest idea you might be upset, don’t fret. There are a few ways you can get the message to Mr. Wonderful:

Live in "Fantasy Land"

Along with your significant other (S.O.) instantly being able to read your mind, your children will listen to what you say the first time and prefer reading quietly to watching “Caillou” 106 times in a row. Living in Fantasy Land is the quickest fix to getting your husband to read the words scrolling in your head, but it’s hard to find. However, as a special Fantasy Land bonus, there are magical fairies that do the laundry, dishes, and cook. I suggest booking your imaginary one way ticket as soon as possible.

Marry a superhero

I know you think your mister plays the part of Superman in your little love story, but super strength and flying don’t come in handy nearly as often as mind reading would. Dust off the comic books and do some research and check to see if any heroes with telepathy are on the market. Marrying another masked-and-caped hero would come with mind reading and would leave the kryptonite. It’s a win-win situation, isn’t it?

Buy a mental projector

This techie toy isn’t even in the Kickstarter phrase yet, but you could make that happen with your endless amounts of time and money, right? The idea is pretty simple: once a thought like “I’d rather not go to dinner at the Johnson’s house tonight because the 3-year-old has been barfing all day and you know I’m allergic to the Johnson’s cats” flashes in your brain, the idea is projected on your forehead for your husband to see before he can accept the dinner invitation. Of course, the more advanced models let only your beloved read the phrase to avoid hurt feelings.

Travel time and space

Any science fiction fan is aware of the rumors that mind readers might be found on other planets. You have always said you've always wanted to travel, so this hint gives you the perfect excuse for some space exploration. You’d need a few thousand years off from work and mommy time, but the payoff would be worth it. Think of all the good you’d be doing for all of your married friends by bringing back aliens with mind reading powers.

Maybe these ideas seem a bit farfetched, but it could be slightly intentional. Wishing your darling could read your mind is an impossible hope. Yes, it would be convenient; it would help you both avoid misunderstandings, and it also would most likely prevent some serious arguments. However, mind reading just isn’t an option in any relationship no matter what you try. Fortunately, the alternative isn’t half bad; actual communication can clear up any missed signals pretty quickly.

Emily is a graduate of Brigham Young University and is a staunch believer in pie as breakfast food. Read more about her travels and tastings at ercummings.blogspot.com.

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