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4 ways to become the woman everyone wants to be friends with

Posted July 4

Why do some women want to bring other women down?

Everyone has green-with-envy moments; but, to take it further by purposely hurting another is unbelievably cruel.

Sometimes, without realizing it, you may in fact be part of the group of women who destroy other women. Ask yourself,

  • Am I the kind who gets in between good friends and starts arguments?
  • Am I drawn to drama and catfighting?
  • Do I target women at church with cruel and judgmental comments?
  • Do I knowingly spread lies about other women and ruin reputations?
  • Do I flirt with other women’s husbands to steal affection away?
  • Do I blame other women close to me for problems I've caused?
If the answer is yes to these and any similar questions, then you spend way too much energy destroying others' lives. Be a peacemaker for good, not a creator of trouble.

If you realize you are a women who brings other women down, remember: It is not too late. Bad behavior begins to stop as soon as good behavior starts. And by following principles of repentance, we can all begin anew.

So, do you want to become a woman who encourages other women?

Here are 4 life-changing ways to become a woman who everyone wants to be friends with.

1. Recognize the bad behavior in yourself which can emotionally and mentally cripple another human being.

2. Forgive yourself of past bad behaviors and consciously do the opposite of what you have done to hurt others.

3. Find a good therapist or friend whom you trust and get rid of the darkness and hurt you feel.

4. Learn that true loyalty is earned through good friendships and kindness, not gossip and popularity.

Many women cherish their women friends who follow these guidelines. Take it from a few celebrities:

“The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble." — J.K. Rowling

“I still have friends from primary school. And my two best girlfriends are from secondary school. I don’t have to explain anything to them. I don’t have to apologize for anything. They know. There’s no judgment in any way.” — Emma Watson

"I don't know what I would have done so many times in my life if I hadn't had my girlfriends. They have literally gotten me up out of bed, taken my clothes off, put me in the shower, dressed me, said, 'Hey, you can do this,' put my high heels on and pushed me out the door!" — Reese Witherspoon

These women's friends have helped them through thick and thin. Margaret Nadauld, leader of a global religious young women’s organization, said,

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”

Know that we are all loved children of God. Our world will be a much happier place when we treat each other as sisters, instead of enemies, and when we stick together.

Oh sister, my sister, our cruelty is done.

Valerie Steimle is the mother of nine children who lives happily on the Gulf Coast of Alabama. She is the author of six books, all about strengthening the family, including "Thoughts from the Heart." Email: valeriesteimle@yahoo.com

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