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4 things husbands are too scared to tell their wives

Posted May 26

Some men feel they must act and behave according to certain cultural stereotypes. When they have thoughts or feelings that stray from the norm, they are scared to open up about them.

You may not realize something is bothering your man because guys are good at hiding their feelings. But here are four things husbands are too scared to tell their wives.

1. They find other women attractive

Most men think when they get married they are no longer allowed to even look at another woman and, if they do, they'd better not think she is pretty. Just because you are married, does not mean you cannot acknowledge and appreciate beauty.

For some reason it's okay for women to say how attractive certain celebrity men are. But, if guys comment on a woman's beauty, it is taboo. There is a difference between looking and lusting. Lusting should never happen. But if your husband thinks another woman is pretty, that’s okay. You are still his main attraction and love of his life.

2. They hate their jobs

A lot of men are afraid to tell their wives how they really feel about their jobs because they feel providing for the family is a man's responsibility.

If your man hates his job, he may need to look for a new one. This could mean going back to school, taking on a new career and/or starting at the bottom of the barrel.

Your husband needs you most at times like these. He needs you to be supportive and to help him work through what is going on. If he is unhappy at work, it can affect other areas of his life. Encourage him to open up and tell you what is going on.

3. They don’t feel "manly" enough for you

Even in today’s modern world, men still like to feel "manly." They like to solve problems, be handy, help the ones they care about and exert their masculinity.

If your man feels he is not providing for you in those ways, it can really affect him. Perhaps he wasn’t able to fix the car or figure out how to help your child with math homework. Maybe he is out of work and not providing the financial help he once was. Whatever it is, it's hard for him to open up about this subject.

Of course you love him and appreciate what he does. He doesn’t need to be Mr. Fix-It for you to love him, but he may feel he does. Allow him to express his concerns and remind him of how many things he does for you that you appreciate. Tell him how he is attractive to you now more than ever.

4. They worry

Some men strongly feel they must be the rock of the family. They need to be stable, steady and not have any fears or concerns. A lot of men interpret worrying as weakness and they don’t want to appear weak. Telling you he worries about finances, his future at his company or even life in general is hard for your guy.

Create an environment where he feels comfortable opening up. Open up first about something bothering you. Ask him questions about what is on his mind. When someone holds on to worry, undue stress piles up, leading to health and marriage problems.

It may be hard for women to understand there are some things men just don’t feel comfortable sharing. It can take time for your man to trust you enough to be open about all topics and feelings, but be patient. Your kindness and concern go a long way and can help him feel more comfortable expressing his thoughts.

Megan Shauri graduated with a bachelors in Anthropology and a masters in Psychology. She lives in Orange County, CA and is a mother of twins. Contact her at Meganshauri@gmail.com

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