4 reasons to never go to bed angry at your partner

Posted October 6

Going to bed angry could leave you with regrets; it's true. Confrontation is natural and healthy in a relationship, as long as you resolve any conflict by the end of the day. (Deseret Photo)

If you ever received some form of advice from parents, grandparents, relatives, etc when you first enter into a relationship, then you probably heard the line, “Never going to bed angry with one another.”

It’s true, argumentation and conflict in a relationship is healthy to have. A study by Kira Birditt at the Institute of Social Research at the University of Michigan proved confrontation can be beneficial when you are respectful to one another and come to a positive result in the end.

But the problem with going to bed mad is people allow their pride and stubbornness to get the best of them. Here are four reasons why you should never go to bed mad at your partner.

1. Divison

You wake up in the morning with a invisible wall built up between you and your spouse. A barrier that was not there before suddenly grew overnight and will not break down until you confront the problem that started in the first place. Someone will have to break the silence at some point, so learn to accept that and move on.

2. Psychological effect

Going to bed angry affects your brain. A study at University of Massachusetts Amherst suggests that your mind develops a protective layer to safeguard your memories while you sleep. Those made most recently are stored as fresh memories and enhances the emotions felt in the moments following sleep. This means that you will hold on to the negative emotions longer than if you had stayed awake after the contention. Sleeping will only amplify the division felt between the two.

3. Be an example

If you have children, then it is crucial that you show them how to resolve conflicts in a calm and conclusive manner. If children are not included in your family, then even better; this is a chance to prove to your partner that you value your relationship over a disagreement. Think of it as an opportunity, rather than an obstacle.

4. Mother knows best

As a child, my mother taught me to never go to bed angry with her because the next day I could live to regret it. She always used the “guilt card” on me, saying that she “might die in her sleep” and the last thing I would recall are moments of resentment toward her. That was always enough to make me fix whatever the problem was as a child, but as an adult I understand the concept and realize that even in the real world this is true. Do not go to bed angry with your partner only to wake up and find out that the last thing you said to your spouse was full of disdain and anger.

Of all the negative things that pass in a relationship, this is one form of confrontation that can be understood. You come home at the end of the day after hours of work and all you really want is some peace and tranquility, but that is not necessarily what always happens. In relationships you have confrontations, but you work them out. Rest assured that everything will be okay, as long as you decide that you want to preserve your relationship more than destroy it.


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all