4 conversations you should never have with your friends if you're married
Posted June 3
When you’re at lunch with friends or on a double date, it's important to know you can trust your spouse to not embarrass you by blurting out personal information.
But whether you are out with friends together or separately, there are some conversation topics that should be kept between you and your spouse.
Here are a few of them:
1. Intimacy issues
What does or doesn't happen in your bedroom is no one else's business. Intimacy means confidence. No one except the two of you should know details like the frequency of your lovemaking or what you wear to bed. If you have concerns about intimacy issues, the two of you can discuss them with a professional or marriage counselor - but not with your friends.
2. Family planning
How many children you want and when you want them is a personal decision between you, your spouse and God.
It’s also no one's business if you are using birth control, and what kind.
These decisions and conversations are important ones in your life, and don't need to be influenced by the judgments and opinions of others.
Aside from your accountant and your boss, other people don't need to know how much money you make.
And your budget as a couple is just that - yours.
It’s nobody’s business how much you save per month for Christmas or vacations, or how much you put away for retirement, investments or a rainy day.
They don't need to know how much you have in the bank, how much your house payment is or how expensive your new car was.
And you shouldn’t be asking to know these things about other people, either. It is their business.
You're likely proud of your children and are happy to share their successes and triumphs. That is good to an extent, but some things regarding your children shouldn't be shared.
Talking to friends about how often your child wets the bed, or how they struggle in school, for example, will embarrass them, and likely stop them from trusting you enough to confide in you in the future.
If you want your children to trust you, do not disclose things to your friends that would in any way embarrass, hurt or show disrespect to your child. Your children, just like your spouse, are entitled to that trust from you.
When you do speak of your children, be kind. Remember that this is your child you are talking about. Don’t complain or roll your eyes or call them names.
The reason for keeping these things between you and your spouse is to build trust, and to foster a deeper and more satisfying connection with each other.
Gina Holt is a Utah native and happily married mother of two. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.