3 steps to get up and gather the pieces of your broken heart once someone has hurt you badly
Posted July 24
Recovering from a devastating a broken heart is easier said than done. The pain that comes from a heartbreak is nearly unbearable and absolutely vile. No one should ever have to stitch themselves back together after being ripped apart by someone they loved.
Here are three steps to gather up the pieces of your broken heart and start your healing process:
1. Accept help from the people around you
People in your life are reaching out to you. They love you, and they know you’re in pain. Take their hands and accept their support. Think of this as heart surgery and they’re the surgeons. You can’t operate on yourself. Allow people into your life, go out with your friends, visit your parents, answer when friends call and get off the internet - no matter how hard it is.
2. Make schedules and set goals
Never underestimate the power of a list. When you have a broken heart, you keep searching to fix the past or seek normalcy. You need to understand that this is a paradigm shift in your life, and nothing will be the same as it was before.
You have just experienced a life changing event. You were in love, and that person told you not to love them anymore. This could be the most confusing and merciless task of your life. The pain you feel is everywhere. Set small daily goals to get through this heartbreak. Set schedules to stay focused. Keep your head up, breathe deep and don’t stop moving.
3. Focus and be mindful
Do NOT dwell on the past. You will freeze and relive your pain. Be in the present. If you start to regress or dwell on the past, pay attention to what you're doing. Listen to the sounds around you. Focus or your breathing. Look at your hands and think about what they're doing right this second. Force yourself out of your head and focus on the "here and now."
Recovering from a broken heart is not an easy task, but you will recover and you will move on. In fact, there will be a day when you’ve completely forgotten about the whole thing (I know from experience). But, it takes time to get there. It’s a harsh journey and requires a lot of patience, but you can do it.
If someone in your life brings up the person who shattered your heart, feel comfortable enough to say, “I prefer not to talk about that person, can we please change the subject.” If they persist, walk just walk away. You’re an adult, and you don’t have to engage in uncomfortable situations that cause you pain.
I love to paint, sew, garden, and shop at thrift stores. I like to imagine a world where everyone is helpful, kind and supportive to others regardless of race, religion, or belief system.