19 reasons why you should get married (that have nothing to do with love)
Posted November 8, 2016
There are several reason to get married. While most people marry to be with the person they love, most of what your marriage accomplishes has nothing to do with love:
Childhood dreams come true
For many people, being married is simply a dream coming true. I've heard it said several times that many women began planning their wedding day when they were children. I can attest to that because my daughter constantly plans hers.
Bringing families together
A by-product of marriage is that two families are now joined together which can be both really interesting and challenging.
Once you are married, you now share a common goal with someone. Partnerships share mutual interests and work toward mutually beneficial results.
Dreams are accomplished
When my wife and I first got married, we wanted to conquer the world. Of course we could not because we needed to take care of our family. While we were young and raising children, we realized that we had big dreams we wanted to come true. We started discussing those dreams and now we are working diligently at accomplishing them.
Several studies support the idea that children raised in homes with a mother and father are better off. Important factors such as personal well-being, risky behaviour and health favour children who live in homes with both parents.
It can help your career aspirations
To be successful in some careers, it can take up a lot of your time inside and outside of the workplace. This can have a negative impact on your home life. Ergo, many leaders tend to suffer in their marriages and lose their families. However, support from a spouse can help moving through the ranks much more manageable and rewarding.
Become a better person
Marriage requires each person to give 100% at all times. When one spouse contributes less to the marriage, it puts added pressure on the other spouse to make up the difference. When couples collaborate and put their all into their marriage, the overall result is self-improvement and mutual-improvement.
Tax and estate planning
Tax laws tend to favour those who are married. In many jurisdictions, there are more benefits provided to couples who are married.
Married parents are richer than single parents
If you choose to be a parent, it is more economical to do so inside a marriage. Two incomes are better than one. Raising children is expensive – clothes, food, childcare, transportation all add to the costs. Even if it is only one parent who chooses (or is able) to work, the other is there to offset the costs. A stay at home mom or dad can eliminate the high costs of childcare and reduce the stress of having to balance work and day care.
Someone always has your back
In marriage, someone else is always looking out for you. When you can rely on someone to pick you up and support you, it gives you confidence to take on challenges you would not consider facing alone.
We rationalize our choices based on consequences. Knowing that all of your decisions will impact someone else creates space for better decision-making. This creates a level of accountability that keeps us on our toes.
A constant support system
Marriage creates the ultimate support system. NBA all-star Chris Bosh points out that after a frustrating time at the gym or after a tough loss, his family brings him back to space of comfort and happiness.
Creating and passing down your own traditions
My wife is Tanzanian. I am Jamaican. My children were born in Canada and we live in Canada. We set our own family traditions that have nothing to do with our ethnic backgrounds. Because we included our children in these new traditions, I am sure they will last one more generation.
It is much easier to create a legacy when you are married. It takes a lifetime and everything you are to build a strong legacy. When you are married, you have someone with whom you can plan and execute goals.
Successful relationships require individuals to work together. This means having both parties work together to fulfill needs. When two people collaborate, they use their strengths to move the relationship forward.
Friends can come and go like the seasons. However, within a marriage, you can always have your best friend with you to create memories.
A full understanding of love
Regardless of the reasons why you chose to get married, you are still required to commit to that relationship. Throughout our lives, we experience different kinds of love. As we grow and change in a relationship, we find out the true meaning of love. Marriage lets us realize this with our partner.
Really getting to know another person
When you spend everything waking moment with another person, there is a good chance you will get to know them better than anyone else.
Marriage is often portrayed as a simple contract which can be broken or even renegotiated at some point down the road. But that is not the case. Marriage takes two individuals to spiritual depths that can't be achieved by any other means.
Love should be a big part of your marriage, but as discussed, there are lots of other factors and benefits that come from such a fulfilling relationship.
Gary is an economist and post-secondary educator. He graduated from Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada. He and his beautiful wife are stewards of four amazing children and founders of @LeadingandLove.