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15 things your wife says and what she really means

Posted January 30

Every husband should know what these phrases really mean. (Deseret Photo)

There is a difference between what a woman says and what she actually means. Here are translations to 15 phrases your wife says:

1. “Are you going out in that?”

Translation: “You look ridiculous. Please change.”

Don’t question it. Just change your clothes.

2. “Are you hungry?”

Translation: “I am hungry.”

Without thinking, you might automatically say “no” to this question. But she’s really asking because she’s hungry. Ask her what she would like to eat.

3. “Do I look OK?

Translation: “Do I look drop-dead gorgeous?”

Do not, I repeat, do not say yes when she asks if she looks OK. No woman wants to be told that she looks “OK.” Use any other flattering word: beautiful, gorgeous or stunning.

4. “Do whatever you want...”

Translation: “...but I’m not happy about it.”

First, she used the word “whatever,” which is not a good sign. Secondly, she doesn’t want to fight about it, so she’s leaving the decision up to you. Choose wisely.

5. “Do you have to go?”

Translation: “I want you to stay.”

She misses you when you’re away. Take it as a compliment, and try to take every opportunity you can to spend more time with your sweetheart.

6. “Do you need to pull over for a restroom break?”

Translation: “Pull over ASAP. I have to go!”

If she ever asks this to you while you’re on a road trip, pull over at the next stop.

7. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

Translation: “Is she prettier than me?”

Proceed cautiously. She is comparing herself to other women, and she wants you to reassure her that you don’t have your eyes on anyone else.

8. "Fine."

Translation: varies

Pay attention to the nonverbal cues here. If she doesn’t look or sound fine when she says this, she is not fine. If you’re texting, pay attention to her punctuation and emoticons. Did she use a smiley face? Did she use an exclamation mark or a period? If she used a period, tread wisely. She’s probably not fine.

9. “I don’t care where we go out to eat.”

Translation: “I am in the mood for something very specific, but I can’t figure out what that is, so you can name off places until I hear one I like.”

Have you ever asked your girl where you want to eat, and when she says she doesn’t care, she shoots down every idea you come up with? Keep listing options. She’ll pick one eventually.

10. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

Translation: “I have 37 shirts in my closet, but the four that I actually wear are dirty.”

Plan for a laundry day.

11. “I just think it’s funny how…”

Translation: “I am furious.”

She did not find it funny. Just listen to what she has to say and apologize.

12. “I look so ugly today!”

Translation: “I am feeling self-conscious today, and I really need a compliment from you.”

Men, women love to hear that they’re beautiful. She might go on about how her hair won’t lay just right, or how her mascara makes her lashes look clumpy and it is up to you to remind her why you think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Tell her everything you love about her — inside and out!

13. “It doesn’t matter.”

Translation: “It most certainly does matter!”

What is the tone of her voice like? And don't forget to observe her nonverbal cues — what does her facial expression say? If she tries to end a conversation with “It doesn’t matter,” then make every effort to keep talking, because the truth is, it does matter.

14. “Maybe.”

Translation: “No.”

She wants you to think that she will consider it, but she’s already made up her mind.

15. “What did you say?”

Translation: “I’m giving you a chance to think about what you just said and rephrase it.”

You’ve just been given an opportunity to take back what you said. Choose your words carefully.

A good rule to remember is to think before you speak. What she says might have an underlying meaning but don’t worry; you’ll understand your wife’s language more as your relationship grows.

Shaelynn Miller is a journalist who has a passion for photography, video production and writing.

Contact her at smiller@deseretdigital.com.

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  • Tim Orr Jan 30, 2017
    user avatar

    Perhaps you could write a more appropriate article for women about saying what they mean and don't expect the man to read your mind. Oh wait, I must be dreaming, no woman would ever do that.